Rapture September 2015

[Faith No More]

Why's that stupid Noah shit on the menu again?

I mean, other than the whole thread being about something stupid. Who dragged Noah in kicking and screaming?

Do you even have to ask? It was the same guy that dragged Stalin into Randy's thread about mean old atheists.

[abaris]

Do you even have to ask?  It was the same guy that dragged Stalin into Randy's thread about mean old atheists.

I had my suspicions, but I was reluctant to wade through all the shit just to confirm it. I see, now he's debating Eve's adultery as if it's a real thing.

[TubbyTubby]

man was no longer what God had originally made them, they were hybrids. If you think Eve literally ate fruit, you are way off. Eve commited adultey with the serpent who was NOT a snake, he was cursed and became a snake for what he had done.

Wow.  The gospel according to Huggy?  What a piece of shit that must be.  Look at the source.

Truly laughable, never heard that particular take on the myth. Eve shagged a serpent that wasn't a snake? Wow, that's some kinky shit.

If I was in the slightest interested I would ask for more explanation but I'm not, so I won't.

[Minimalist]

Poor Adam.... no other man around and he still gets cuckolded!

[drfuzzy]

Didn't the people, in Noah's time, have boats?
It's hard to imagine that no one got in their boats and managed to survive a flood...
Judging by a few civilizations in the Pacific, there are peoples out there who practically live in boats.

And the flood lasted for... what?... 40 days?... didn't they have boat journeys lasting more than that? From one side of the Mediterranean to the other on wind power...?

Was Noah the first human to build a boat?

It was a magical flood that could only be survived in an ark. The magical flood water prevented regular boats from floating

[TubbyTubby]

Poor Adam.... no other man around and he still gets cuckolded!

If it was a 10 foot serpent with a forked tongue, he didn't stand much chance.

[abaris]

Truly laughable, never heard that particular take on the myth. Eve shagged a serpent that wasn't a snake? Wow, that's some kinky shit.

Huggy might want to read the Gilgamesh epic at some point about snake shagging in the garden. I won't get into any more detail, since that might attract Randy and another suada on how christianity is so breathtakingly original. This thread is already shaking under the all out stupidty assault.

Oh, and on second thought, the epic of Gilgamesh is also your friend when it comes to Noah bullshit. And it has a better prose than the sheep shagger plagiarism.

[JesusHChrist]

man was no longer what God had originally made them, they were hybrids. If you think Eve literally ate fruit, you are way off. Eve commited adultey with the serpent who was NOT a snake, he was cursed and became a snake for what he had done.

And this is why to this day, men are cursed to walk around with a talking serpent a-twixt their legs, to remind the woman folk of the deception that they did do to mankind. And we never let them forget it, do we?

[Losty]

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Which of course justifies murdering every human being - man, woman, child on the planet, along with all the animals as well. I mean...what the hell did the kids and animals do?!

If he wanted to be slightly more merciful, he could have simply given everyone on earth instant heart attacks or some other form of quick death. But noooo...gotta make them spend their last mortal moments in sheer abject terror as they watch their lives and families be destroyed in front of them, shortly before succumbing to a slow death by drowning themselves. You know - as a loving god would.

Without going into a long explanation, i''l just say this.

man was no longer what God had originally made them, they were hybrids. If you think Eve literally ate fruit, you are way off. Eve commited adultey with the serpent who was NOT a snake, he was cursed and became a snake for what he had done.

As a result of the serpent and Eve's union Cain was born. Cain is never mentioned in the genealogy of Adam showing that he is not Adams son.

The descendants of Adam (sons of God) began mixing with the descendants of Cain (daughter of man) producing hybrids which resulted in giants.

Genesis 6
And it came to pass, when men began to multiply on the face of the earth, and daughters were born unto them,
2 That the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose.
3 And the Lord said, My spirit shall not always strive with man, for that he also is flesh: yet his days shall be an hundred and twenty years.
4 There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown.
5 And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.
6 And it repented the Lord that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart.

Many people misinterpret the "sons of God" to mean angels, but the Bible clearly states that Adam was a son of God, making his descendants also Sons of God.

Luke 3:38
Which was the son of Enos, which was the son of Seth, which was the son of Adam, which was the son of God.

God just decided to wipe the slate clean and start over, even then he gave people 120 years to repent.

Also the reasons it had to be water was because that signifies rebirth.

water, blood and spirit

What happens when a child is born? the water breaks, the child is covered in blood, then he takes his first breath.

How does is one born into the kingdom of God? Baptized, the blood of Jesus covers his sin, then he receives the holy spirit.

The book of revelation says that there is to be a new earth, the scriptures cannot be broken. The earth must receive it's new birth like everything else.

The flood was the earth being baptized, then Jesus spilled his blood on it, then it will be purged by fire (fire represents the holy spirit, as when the tongues of fire hanging over the peoples heads when they received the holy spirit at Pentecost)

2 Peter 3:12
Looking for and hasting unto the coming of the day of God, wherein the heavens being on fire shall be dissolved, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat?

Malachi 4:1
For, behold, the day cometh, that shall burn as an oven; and all the proud, yea, and all that do wickedly, shall be stubble: and the day that cometh shall burn them up, saith the Lord of hosts, that it shall leave them neither root nor branch.

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So Eve committed adultery? How did I never know this?? Why was I never taught this?

So all this time the forbidden fruit was a nice juicy cock???


And the tree of knowledge? What about that? Sex ed classes?

[Minimalist]

Would have put a whole new spin on that story, eh Losty?