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Current time: March 28, 2024, 4:42 pm

Poll: What do you think they'll do?
This poll is closed.
take it and admire it in private
20.00%
2 20.00%
take it and tell everybody at your church and made sure all world knows about it
60.00%
6 60.00%
keep walking
10.00%
1 10.00%
smash it
10.00%
1 10.00%
Total 10 vote(s) 100%
* You voted for this item. [Show Results]

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If they found Jesus' turd what would they do with it?
#31
RE: If they found Jesus' turd what would they do with it?
"Pilgrims to the Holy Shrine of Scatalia received the Sacrament of the Divine Coprolite last Sunday during a special "Limited Offer Once in a Lifetime Communion Mass". Father Stephens of the local diocese states that brandy was added to the communion wine to help wash the taste away. Stevens stated " We understand that the average 21st century parishioner does not have the spiritual fortitude of a 1st century sack cloth and ashes penitent so we added a little extra "proof" to convince the wary!"
God thinks it's fun to confuse primates. Larsen's God!






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#32
RE: If they found Jesus' turd what would they do with it?
They'd harvest Jesus DNA and make Jesus clones to solve world hunger and climate change.

(August 18, 2016 at 10:24 pm)chimp3 Wrote: "Pilgrims to the Holy Shrine of Scatalia received the Sacrament of the Divine Coprolite last Sunday during a special "Limited Offer Once in a Lifetime Communion Mass". Father Stephens of the local diocese states that brandy was added to the communion wine to help wash the taste away. Stevens stated " We understand that the average 21st century parishioner does not have the spiritual fortitude of a 1st century sack cloth and ashes penitent so we added a little extra "proof" to convince the wary!"

Dude, there is plenty enough fecal matter in the "Holy Water" people dip their hands in and splash their face with.

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2013...ter-study/
"Leave it to me to find a way to be,
Consider me a satellite forever orbiting,
I knew the rules but the rules did not know me, guaranteed." - Eddie Vedder
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#33
RE: If they found Jesus' turd what would they do with it?
(August 18, 2016 at 10:49 pm)Arkilogue Wrote: They'd harvest Jesus DNA and make Jesus clones to solve world hunger and climate change.

(August 18, 2016 at 10:24 pm)chimp3 Wrote: "Pilgrims to the Holy Shrine of Scatalia received the Sacrament of the Divine Coprolite last Sunday during a special "Limited Offer Once in a Lifetime Communion Mass". Father Stephens of the local diocese states that brandy was added to the communion wine to help wash the taste away. Stevens stated " We understand that the average 21st century parishioner does not have the spiritual fortitude of a 1st century sack cloth and ashes penitent so we added a little extra "proof" to convince the wary!"

Dude, there is plenty enough fecal matter in the "Holy Water" people dip their hands in and splash their face with.

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2013...ter-study/

Not a Catholic I take it?
God thinks it's fun to confuse primates. Larsen's God!






Reply
#34
RE: If they found Jesus' turd what would they do with it?
(August 18, 2016 at 10:56 pm)chimp3 Wrote:
(August 18, 2016 at 10:49 pm)Arkilogue Wrote: They'd harvest Jesus DNA and make Jesus clones to solve world hunger and climate change.


Dude, there is plenty enough fecal matter in the "Holy Water" people dip their hands in and splash their face with.

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2013...ter-study/

Not a Catholic I take it?

Nope, Telestic.
"Leave it to me to find a way to be,
Consider me a satellite forever orbiting,
I knew the rules but the rules did not know me, guaranteed." - Eddie Vedder
Reply
#35
RE: If they found Jesus' turd what would they do with it?
Telastic ? Does that mean you like Greek food or is that an anagram of testicle?
God thinks it's fun to confuse primates. Larsen's God!






Reply
#36
RE: If they found Jesus' turd what would they do with it?
(August 18, 2016 at 11:13 pm)chimp3 Wrote: Telastic ? Does that mean you like Greek food or is that an anagram of testicle?

Telestic from Telestai from telos.

"One who is aimed"
"Leave it to me to find a way to be,
Consider me a satellite forever orbiting,
I knew the rules but the rules did not know me, guaranteed." - Eddie Vedder
Reply
#37
RE: If they found Jesus' turd what would they do with it?
Morning boner?
God thinks it's fun to confuse primates. Larsen's God!






Reply
#38
RE: If they found Jesus' turd what would they do with it?
"My god's shit is an awesome shit...."
"I was thirsty for everything, but blood wasn't my style" - Live, "Voodoo Lady"
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#39
RE: If they found Jesus' turd what would they do with it?
(August 17, 2016 at 9:06 pm)Anomalocaris Wrote:
(August 17, 2016 at 8:52 pm)The Gentleman Bastard Wrote: Considering the vast number of "relics" that are already on prominent display in cathedrals around the world, I can easily see them building a shrine to house the holy turd.



Especially if the holy turd is said to have been shat during the passion.   That may even make public defecation an act of piety in Christian eyes.

I'm sure they would have created a rousing back story... just like they did with their so-called martyr saints.
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#40
RE: If they found Jesus' turd what would they do with it?
(August 18, 2016 at 11:24 pm)chimp3 Wrote: Morning boner?

Everyday of my life...pointed slightly curved toward heaven. Thumb up
"Leave it to me to find a way to be,
Consider me a satellite forever orbiting,
I knew the rules but the rules did not know me, guaranteed." - Eddie Vedder
Reply



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