If they found Jesus' turd what would they do with it?
| Poll: What do you think they'll do? This poll is closed. |
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| take it and admire it in private | 2 | 20.00% | |
| take it and tell everybody at your church and made sure all world knows about it | 6 | 60.00% | |
| keep walking | 1 | 10.00% | |
| smash it | 1 | 10.00% | |
| Total | 10 vote(s) | 100% | |
| * You voted for this item. | [Show Results] |
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If they found Jesus' turd what would they do with it?
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 (August 18, 2016 at 11:27 pm)Arkilogue Wrote:(August 18, 2016 at 11:24 pm)chimp3 Wrote: Morning boner? That is what you think she said!
God thinks it's fun to confuse primates. Larsen's God!
 (August 18, 2016 at 11:37 pm)chimp3 Wrote:(August 18, 2016 at 11:27 pm)Arkilogue Wrote: Everyday of my life...pointed slightly curved toward heaven. 
"Leave it to me to find a way to be,
Consider me a satellite forever orbiting, I knew the rules but the rules did not know me, guaranteed." - Eddie Vedder  (August 18, 2016 at 10:49 pm)Arkilogue Wrote: They'd harvest Jesus DNA and make Jesus clones to solve world hunger and climate change. Jeezburgers?
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
(August 19, 2016 at 12:32 am)Stimbo Wrote:(August 18, 2016 at 10:49 pm)Arkilogue Wrote: They'd harvest Jesus DNA and make Jesus clones to solve world hunger and climate change. Better than loaves and feces.
"Leave it to me to find a way to be,
Consider me a satellite forever orbiting, I knew the rules but the rules did not know me, guaranteed." - Eddie Vedder 
Ken Ham would make a life size display of it... with dinosaurs.
Dying to live, living to die.
 RE: If they found Jesus' turd what would they do with it?
August 20, 2016 at 2:02 am
(This post was last modified: August 20, 2016 at 2:05 am by Bunburryist.)
A re-take of scene 18 from Life of Brian with a slight script change . . . .
FOLLOWERS: ...Look! Ah! Oh! Oh! ARTHUR: He has given us a sign! FOLLOWER: Oh! SHOE FOLLOWER: He has given us... His turd! ARTHUR: The turd is the sign. Let us follow His example. SPIKE: What? ARTHUR: Let us, like Him, hold up one turd and let the other be upon our foot, for this is His sign, that all who follow Him shall do likewise. EDDIE: Yes. SHOE FOLLOWER: No, no, no. The turd is... YOUTH: No. SHOE FOLLOWER: ...a sign that we must gather turds together in abundance. GIRL: Cast off... SPIKE: Aye. What? GIRL: ...the turds! Follow the Gourd! SHOE FOLLOWER: No! Let us gather turds together! FRANK: Yes. SHOE FOLLOWER: Let me! ELSIE: Oh, get off! YOUTH: No, no! It is a sign that, like Him, we must think not of the things of the body, but of the butt and arse! SHOE FOLLOWER: Give me your turd! YOUTH: Get off! GIRL: Follow the Gourd! The Holy Gourd of Jerusalem! FOLLOWER: The Gourd! HARRY: Hold up the poop, as He has commanded us! ARTHUR: It is a turd! It is a turd! HARRY: It's a poop! ARTHUR: No, it isn't! GIRL: Cast it away! ARTHUR: Put it on! YOUTH: And clear off! SHOE FOLLOWER: Take the turds and follow Him! GIRL: Come,... FRANK: Yes! GIRL: ...all ye who call yourself Gourdenes! SPIKE: Stop! Stop! Stop, I say! Stop! Let us-- let us pray. Yea, He cometh to us, like the seed to the grain. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ka9mfZbTFbk 
Pollfail: no polish it option ... considering that that is what they've actually done.
If they found Jesus' turd they would probably call it "Christ's Blessed Bowel Movement." and kiss it.
I think to get the most value out of it, it could be used homeopathically as a cure for being a x-tian.
GUBU
Education: None. Skills: None. Merits: None  Religious Views: the Disc's first ligthning proof atheist (August 17, 2016 at 6:37 am)Fake Messiah Wrote: So is any Christian still answering questions? I know that some Christian denominations are bent on keeping relics, no matter what it's validity is, so I was seriously wondering if you (Christian) went to, let's say Holy Land, and found Jesus' turd preserved to this day, belonging to nobody, and you knew with 100% certainty that it was indeed his would you: Well if you're catlick you can always touch it with your willy. This will enholify your willy as anything that touches a genuine (for a given value of genuine) relic automaitcally becomes a class 3 relic.
Urbs Antiqua Fuit Studiisque Asperrima Belli
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If they found Jesus' turd what would they do with it?
