101 uses for Bible

[Cego_Colher]

If we did that, church attendance would skyrocket! (And the child molesters - Oops! I mean priests - would think the seats are full because of their inspirational sermons!)

but it might freak out the old ladies.

[Thor]

If we did that, church attendance would skyrocket! (And the child molesters - Oops! I mean priests - would think the seats are full because of their inspirational sermons!)

but it might freak out the old ladies.

Or they might be delighted! The priest may wonder why all the old ladies are giggling!

[Cego_Colher]

true true, that would pose some entertainment in itself.

[Welsh cake]

110: Goat food.

[Darwinian]

112. When I run out of cigarette papers those lovely thin pages come in very handy

[Thor]

111. Past-time. I think bible is a good medium to spend our time. I am doing that whenever I am free or bored to things I am doing.

Ancient scribe #1: "Whaddya say we embellish this story to make it more interesting? Let's write that Jesus had a virgin birth, walked on water and rose up from the dead!"

Ancient scribe #2: "Oh, come on! Now you're getting ridiculous!"

Ancient scribe #1: "You're giving people too much credit! I'll guarantee they believe it! In fact, I'd be willing to bet that 2,000 years from now people will still believe it!"

Ancient scribe #2: "Write whatever you want. But no one's going to believe bullshit like that!"

[Anomalocaris]

112. When I run out of cigarette papers those lovely thin pages come in very handy

Do you really want to inhale bible smoke?

[thesummerqueen]

-- Biodegradable seed cups

-- disposable, easily degraded window wipers

-- a stack of highly absorbent paper to wipe my paintbrushes off on

-- the big book that held my medicine cabinet the right height above my sink until I drilled it into the wall

-- the thing my short butt used as a stool when I couldn't reach coffee cups on the top shelf in the kitchen

-- place to put said coffee cup to avoid rings on furniture

-- distraction mechanism when the 'dry' relatives come to visit while we hid the booze in the washing machine

-- handy source of frustration relief when I shred it during games like the Eagles vs Skins last night.

-- handy weapon against the cat when he starts to claw the leather sofa

-- chew toy for our pitbull

-- chew toy for me when forced to watch Fox news

-- chew toy for my roommate when forced to watch Jersey Shore

[Lethe]

Do you really want to inhale bible smoke?

It is a well known facilitator of hallucinations.

[Jonah]

I'd grind up the Bible into a nice pulp and mix it with water to use as weed killer. Knowing the Bible's toxic effects on the human mind, God only knows its effects on pesky weeds!