Help me catch the office coffee thief

[Edwardo Piet]

If the handle of your pot is black get an ink roller and put black ink all over it then walk away. When you want coffee grab a paper towel. Somebody will start talking about the guy/gal with ink all over their hands. You'll probably catch them trying to wash off.

This is a good one  

I say do it.

[Jackalope]

If the handle of your pot is black get an ink roller and put black ink all over it then walk away. When you want coffee grab a paper towel. Somebody will start talking about the guy/gal with ink all over their hands. You'll probably catch them trying to wash off.

Instead of blank ink, try Black Death instead.

[Fireball]

Just write a note and put it on it.
"Go ahead, coffee thief. Try it. I dare you."

I wouldn't steal that coffee. God knows what the crazy woman put in there.

Except that the perp might reciprocate.

[The Valkyrie]

Just write a note and put it on it.
"Go ahead, coffee thief. Try it. I dare you."

I wouldn't steal that coffee. God knows what the crazy woman put in there.

Except that the perp might reciprocate.

An executed perp can neither reciprocate or reoffend.

[Seraphina]

Just stick a Post-It note to your coffee maker:

"I have explosive diarrhea and projectile vomiting and I just licked the entire coffee maker. Use at your own risk".

Alternatively, you could low-key hang around the coffee maker area and spy on whomever is stealing it. And then confront them.

This thread reminded me of one of my favorite websites that shows notes people leave in situations like this - you might find some good ideas in there too.

http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/

I wouldn't piss in the coffee maker, though. Besides that being difficult to maneuver for someone without a penis to point and shoot, it just seems like a bridge too far.

-Teresa

[The Valkyrie]

Just stick a Post-It note to your coffee maker:

"I have explosive diarrhea and projectile vomiting and I just licked the entire coffee maker. Use at your own risk".

Alternatively, you could low-key hang around the coffee maker area and spy on whomever is stealing it. And then confront them.

This thread reminded me of one of my favorite websites that shows notes people leave in situations like this - you might find some good ideas in there too.

http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/

I wouldn't piss in the coffee maker, though. Besides that being difficult to maneuver for someone without a penis to point and shoot, it just seems like a bridge too far.

-Teresa

I have a new website to check out.

I wondr if I can submit the one I left on my letterbox for the idiot who kept dropping community newspapers into it.

After several polite attempts to stop it happening, I put one up that read, "Attention, paper delivery drone.  "Addressed mail only" also means NO FUCKING NEWSPAPERS!!"

It lasted a day.  I suspect the local postie removed it, but she denied it.

[Seraphina]

Just stick a Post-It note to your coffee maker:

"I have explosive diarrhea and projectile vomiting and I just licked the entire coffee maker. Use at your own risk".

Alternatively, you could low-key hang around the coffee maker area and spy on whomever is stealing it. And then confront them.

This thread reminded me of one of my favorite websites that shows notes people leave in situations like this - you might find some good ideas in there too.

http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/

I wouldn't piss in the coffee maker, though. Besides that being difficult to maneuver for someone without a penis to point and shoot, it just seems like a bridge too far.

-Teresa

I have a new website to check out.

I wondr if I can submit the one I left on my letterbox for the idiot who kept dropping community newspapers into it.

After several polite attempts to stop it happening, I put one up that read, "Attention, paper delivery drone.  "Addressed mail only" also means NO FUCKING NEWSPAPERS!!"

It lasted a day.  I suspect the local postie removed it, but she denied it.

Yeah, you should submit that one

-Teresa

[Fireball]

Just stick a Post-It note to your coffee maker:

"I have explosive diarrhea and projectile vomiting and I just licked the entire coffee maker. Use at your own risk".

Alternatively, you could low-key hang around the coffee maker area and spy on whomever is stealing it. And then confront them.

This thread reminded me of one of my favorite websites that shows notes people leave in situations like this - you might find some good ideas in there too.

http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/

I wouldn't piss in the coffee maker, though. Besides that being difficult to maneuver for someone without a penis to point and shoot, it just seems like a bridge too far.

-Teresa

I have a new website to check out.

I wondr if I can submit the one I left on my letterbox for the idiot who kept dropping community newspapers into it.

After several polite attempts to stop it happening, I put one up that read, "Attention, paper delivery drone.  "Addressed mail only" also means NO FUCKING NEWSPAPERS!!"

It lasted a day.  I suspect the local postie removed it, but she denied it.

Where were you before I met my wife!? Oh, right. The other side of the freakin' planet. Plus you're young enough to date my sons...

A true part of the Fireball's life, ca 22 years of age (that would be about 43 years ago). I went into a music shop to buy some music cassettes, because CDs were way in the future. There in the display case was a bunch of patches one could put (sew) on their clothing. One of those patches looked remarkably similar to the Ford blue oval logo...but said "Fuck", in the same script. Oh, Hell yes! I bought the three that they had left. My girlfriend at the time just rolled her eyes. The guy behind the counter told us that if someone asked for one, but wouldn't say the word, he wouldn't sell it to them. I put it on my Levi's denim jacket, and only took it off when I was wearing it in mufti on a Navy base (I was in the Navy at the time) and a certain Lieutenant took offense to it.

[ErGingerbreadMandude]

Sounds like the coffee thief has a little crush on our ivy 😀 leave a "call me" note with your number

[SteelCurtain]

Are they stealing it before you can get any?

Because buying a cool carafe for your desk might be the best option that causes the least issues.
Something like this.