The most awkward conversation ever

[Cod]

Mary: "Joseph come in for a minute we need to talk."
Joseph: "Oh what now? I'm doing carpentry and shit."
Mary: "It's important please come in, I dont wan't that nosey cow from next door to hear."
Nosey cow: "I heard that."
Joseph: "okay what is so important?"
Mary: "I'm pregnant."
Joseph: "You're fucking what?"
Mary: "Pregnant."
Joseph: "I knew it, you've been seeing that basket weaver again have'nt you."
Mary: "No it was God who has inpregnated me with his holy seed."
Joseph: "I've heard some bullshit in my time, but that takes the biscuit."
Mary: "You must accept this, just think, one day our son will be the most famous man on the planet."
Joseph: "What's a planet?"
Mary: "Don't worry about that, we need to choose a name."
Joseph: "You just expect me to act as though the child is mine? And to help you think of a name? Jesus Christ woman."
Mary:"Mmmm Jesus Christ, I like it."

[Gawdzilla Sama]

I flew from JFK to Leonardo da Vinci when coming back from leave, c. 1974. The guy in the next seat was a Jesuit who told me he was going to the Vatican to be fired. ("defrocked" still makes me giggle.) The birth of Jesus was something he couldn't buy into, even after two decades of Jesuit training. I told him I'd never been religious, something that seemed to fascinate him. We chatted for a few thousand miles and I apparently missed the non-verbal clues from the lady in the window seat. When we landed and got up to debark she said "You're both going to Hell."

[The Valkyrie]

I flew from JFK to Leonardo da Vinci when coming back from leave, c. 1974. The guy in the next seat was a Jesuit who told me he was going to the Vatican to be fired. ("defrocked" still makes me giggle.) The birth of Jesus was something he couldn't buy into, even after two decades of Jesuit training. I told him I'd never been religious, something that seemed to fascinate him. We chatted for a few thousand miles and I apparently missed the non-verbal clues from the lady in the window seat. When we landed and got up to debark she said "You're both going to Hell."

"With people like you in heaven, hell must be paradise!"

[Gawdzilla Sama]

I flew from JFK to Leonardo da Vinci when coming back from leave, c. 1974. The guy in the next seat was a Jesuit who told me he was going to the Vatican to be fired. ("defrocked" still makes me giggle.) The birth of Jesus was something he couldn't buy into, even after two decades of Jesuit training. I told him I'd never been religious, something that seemed to fascinate him. We chatted for a few thousand miles and I apparently missed the non-verbal clues from the lady in the window seat. When we landed and got up to debark she said "You're both going to Hell."

"With people like you in heaven, hell must be paradise!"

My response was "Save me a place by the fire."

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

"With people like you in heaven, hell must be paradise!"

My response was "Save me a place by the fire."

'We want Heaven for the climate and Hell for the company.' - Twain

Boru

[Gawdzilla Sama]

"All my friends are in Hell, all my relatives are in Heaven."

[fredd bear]

Mary: "Joseph come in for a minute we need to talk."
Joseph: "Oh what now? I'm doing carpentry and shit."
Mary: "It's important please come in, I dont wan't that nosey cow from next door to hear."
Nosey cow: "I heard that."
Joseph: "okay what is so important?"
Mary: "I'm pregnant."
Joseph: "You're fucking what?"
Mary: "Pregnant."
Joseph: "I knew it, you've been seeing that basket weaver again have'nt you."
Mary: "No it was God who has inpregnated me with his holy seed."
Joseph: "I've heard some bullshit in my time, but that takes the biscuit."
Mary: "You must accept this, just think, one day our son will be the most famous man on the planet."
Joseph: "What's a planet?"
Mary: "Don't worry about that, we need to choose a name."
Joseph: "You just expect me to act as though the child is mine? And to help you think of a name? Jesus Christ woman."
Mary:"Mmmm Jesus Christ, I like it."

  
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((9)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Yeah, seems to be a fine line between devout believer and idiot. Certainly the case with our little band of Christians here 

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((9))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I really have  had respect for only one of the disciples  "Doubting Thomas" . Although, I also think Judas was a pretty pragmatic guy.

Jesus: G'day Thomo, It's Jesus, I've risen from the dead. (Jesus was Australian)

Thomas: Shut the front door!

Jesus: Fair dinkum..

Thomas: Bullshit! (sotte voce) Wanker.

Jesus: No, really Thomo, it's me.

Thomas: OK prove it!

Jesus : Thomo ,when did you become such a fucking skeptic? (wearily) Ok then, bung your hand in the wound in my side.

Thomas: Gross! Just show me. (Thomas looks) Wow!  Welcome back mate.

Make a great South Park episode..

A somewhat sanitised biblical account can be found in John 20 :24-31

Always thought the bit about believing  without seeing was more than a little self serving. IE  Encouraging  people to be naive, gullible and stupid

[Drich]

So... it never crossed your mind that no one back then would have checked out her story?

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

So... it never crossed your mind that no one back then would have checked out her story?

How exactly would they have done that? 

Boru

[Drich]

So... it never crossed your mind that no one back then would have checked out her story?

How exactly would they have done that? 

Boru

hymen check sport.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hymen

There's even a well detail drawing there for ya big guy, have at it!

(just in case)
The hymen is lost/broken during intercourse. If the girl is prego and has an intact hymen that means she is technically still a virgin who is set to give birth.

So is this young lady is showing and claims she is a virgin then I suspect the same group of old nags at the church who inspect suspect women (virgin wives collect larger dowelerys while a loose woman may not have one at all) who claim to be pure are so and not just 'pure at heart.'

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good question by the way!