Every f-ing year JWs knock on my door.

[Amarok]

Do you realize how much time you put into not liking religion? It comes across as neurotic.

Because heaven forbid we talk about stuff religious people do that annoy us on an atheist forum

[The Valkyrie]

Ask them if they’ll help you to do dog impressions.

When they ask how, tell them it involves soaking them in petrol and throwing a lit match at them.

They’ll go “woof!”

[Cod]

And the same damned people too! Get a fucking clue people! I don't like salespeople at my door. I could give a fuck less even if you were selling a vacuum. JW fucking knocked on my door just now. I am so sick of that crap. I told her it was old mythology and I didn't need that crap.

Read them one of your poems. They'll soon fuck off.

[LastPoet]

Tell them you're an apostate and you'll never see them again.

True. Ultimately my last knock by them, I told them an atheist. They hit me with an half arsed KCA and I handed their ass to them the usual way. I also told them that I knew everything about their cult.

Some people suggested dogs. In a previous encounter one JW woman just opened my yard gate and entered like at home, despite the bigass "beware the dog" sign and the doorbell accessible from outside. Fortunately I was at home and called the dog, not before he stapled her arm. And she had the nerve to tell me I had to pay hospital bills when the dog did what he did, watch the territory. I told her to fuck off before I call the cops.

Ah Marley, he was such a good boy. I gave him a special treat that day.

[onlinebiker]

Tell them you're an apostate and you'll never see them again.

True. Ultimately my last knock by them, I told them an atheist. They hit me with an half arsed KCA and I handed their ass to them the usual way. I also told them that I knew everything about their cult.

Some people suggested dogs. In a previous encounter one JW woman just opened my yard gate and entered like at home, despite the bigass "beware the dog" sign and the doorbell accessible from outside. Fortunately I was at home and called the dog, not before he stapled her arm. And she had the nerve to tell me I had to pay hospital bills when the dog did what he did, watch the territory. I told her to fuck off before I call the cops.

Ah Marley, he was such a good boy. I gave him a special treat that day.

That wouldn't fly here. The law here is the dog needs to be chained or in a kennel. There' s very little legal insulation protecting dog owners. If your dog bites someone - you are probably going to lose your dog and be liable for medical bills.

[LastPoet]

True. Ultimately my last knock by them, I told them an atheist. They hit me with an half arsed KCA and I handed their ass to them the usual way. I also told them that I knew everything about their cult.

Some people suggested dogs. In a previous encounter one JW woman just opened my yard gate and entered like at home, despite the bigass "beware the dog" sign and the doorbell accessible from outside. Fortunately I was at home and called the dog, not before he stapled her arm. And she had the nerve to tell me I had to pay hospital bills when the dog did what he did, watch the territory. I told her to fuck off before I call the cops.

Ah Marley, he was such a good boy. I gave him a special treat that day.

That wouldn't fly here. The law here is the dog needs to be chained or in a kennel. There' s very little legal insulation protecting dog owners. If your dog bites someone - you are probably going to lose your dog and be liable for medical bills.

Inside your property? Didn't know that. Here the requirements are to put those anti bite thingies (don't recall the english name for it) for big dogs, insurance and vaccines, and you only get in trouble if the dog bites someone outside in the street. In your fenced yard, all you need is a sign warning at the gate. I still have it, though my wife wanted a small one after that one died. Now my friends joke around "what's that sign for? To warn people not to step on the dog?"

Kinda removes the purpose of a guard dog IMO.

[downbeatplumb]

And the same damned people too! Get a fucking clue people! I don't like salespeople at my door. I could give a fuck less even if you were selling a vacuum. JW fucking knocked on my door just now. I am so sick of that crap. I told her it was old mythology and I didn't need that crap.

Put this sign on your door.

"Any religious door knocker should be prepared to listen to my unfettered opinions on exactly how stupid their beliefs are over a prolonged period of time"

[arewethereyet]

Years ago there were a couple JWs who made a concerted effort to convert me. We lived in what had been my grandparents' house on the farm so it wasn't like they could just walk to the house. Often they brought a little kid or two with them. I guess they learned I would invite them right inside the door because the kids were scared of my German Shepherd. One day they showed up, with the kids, and it was raining like crazy so I again invited them in. One of the women kept up a steady stream of conversation while the other one kept looking over her shoulder at the desk. It took me a couple minutes to realize that on the desk was a stack of Playboys and Penthouses that my dad had given to my husband the night before. That was my last JW visit at that house.

As it turns out smut magazines (even of the not too smutty kind) are like Kryptonite to your run of the mill JW doorknocker.

[The Valkyrie]

Years ago there were a couple JWs who made a concerted effort to convert me. We lived in what had been my grandparents' house on the farm so it wasn't like they could just walk to the house. Often they brought a little kid or two with them. I guess they learned I would invite them right inside the door because the kids were scared of my German Shepherd. One day they showed up, with the kids, and it was raining like crazy so I again invited them in. One of the women kept up a steady stream of conversation while the other one kept looking over her shoulder at the desk. It took me a couple minutes to realize that on the desk was a stack of Playboys and Penthouses that my dad had given to my husband the night before. That was my last JW visit at that house.

As it turns out smut magazines (even of the not too smutty kind) are like Kryptonite to your run of the mill JW doorknocker.

I’ll have to remember that!

Looks like I need to go and buy a couple of really blatant magazines!

[Fireball]

Years ago there were a couple JWs who made a concerted effort to convert me.  We lived in what had been my grandparents' house on the farm so it wasn't like they could just walk to the house.  Often they brought a little kid or two with them.  I guess they learned I would invite them right inside the door because the kids were scared of my German Shepherd.  One day they showed up, with the kids, and it was raining like crazy so I again invited them in.  One of the women kept up a steady stream of conversation while the other one kept looking over her shoulder at the desk.  It took me a couple minutes to realize that on the desk was a stack of Playboys and Penthouses that my dad had given to my husband the night before.  That was my last JW visit at that house.  

As it turns out smut magazines (even of the not too smutty kind) are like Kryptonite to your run of the mill JW doorknocker.

I’ll have to remember that!

Looks like I need to go and buy a couple of really blatant magazines!

HOT ROD magazine is still around. Automobile porn!