Family not accepting you're an Atheist

[Simon Moon]

Start by telling them that religion/atheism can no longer be an issue when you/they are around, or on the phone, or over the net. If it starts, you will ghost. But remember, you have to hold up your end also. 

Worked for me at age 13. Still working for we with a catholic wife and lutheran sister.

This is more or less the advice I would give.

Never feel obligated to discuss this with your family. Just acknowledge that you have differing beliefs/nonbeliefs as they do, and leave it at that.

[Mermaid]

Just like politics, I make it a point not to discuss religion with anyone who I am not sure agrees with me. If someone brings it up, I just reiterate that we shouldn't talk about this. Repeat as necessary. It can be hard at first and takes practice, but I find it is the best way to keep the peace.

[Brian37]

Hello,

Does anyone have a difficult family that won't accept you're an Atheist? I've always been an Atheist, but my family all believe in a higher power. I don't mind people believing different to me (as long as they don't get abusive about it in any way), but they simply can't comprehend that I'm an Atheist - if it's ever mentioned they imply I'm in denial, which is ridiculous. I am more looking for input from someone in a similar position on how to approach this better mentally, not holding my breath though as I can see the forum is inactive.

Best Wishes

TheEnd8888

My late adoptive mother raised me Catholic. But she was not forceful about religion. If you want me to complain about how she raised me, it would be more about chores, in that she treated me like slave labor, and she was the type that "buck it up, be a man, boy's don't cry'. But as far as religion, she never forced that on me. In my teens I stopped going to church, and she didn't raise a fuss about it.

Even in her old age, taking care of her at her assisted living and nursing home, she valued me, and didn't make the threat bribe fundy crap far too many do. All she wanted from me was my love. I am sure she had a problem with me not believing,  but as independent as she was, she always let me think for myself.  Even as an adult, I'd tell her about an atheist author I wanted a book from, and she would buy it for me. My late Catholic mother is literally the reason I have read Dawkins and Hitchens and Victor Stenger and Harris and Ali. If she did not buy me the book personally, she gave me the money to buy the books myself.

I can remember sitting in primary doctor's private practice waiting hall, reading Victor Stenger's "The New Atheism" while my mom was waiting to be called into her appointment. IT WAS A BOOK SHE PAID FOR!  Which was far better than all those crappy pop, vacation, garden, bullshit mags you get in the waiting room.

But, just to take a silly dig at her, sometimes when I look back, I wonder if she bought me those books just to shut me up? We were not the same in the least. So I am wondering if she did all that, like a bear knowing there is a claw trap, and placing bait to get me to shut up. 

In all seriousness. I am 100% sure she was simply trying to please me.

[The Valkyrie]

My family dynamic is kinda strange.

Atheist father, Catholic mother, Catholic aunties and uncles on my mother's side, JoHos mostly on my father's.

Most have accepted that I'm an atheist, though we have very little to do with the JoHos and my mother and her sisters still insist on trying to get me back into church.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Catholic on both sides, but Da liked to describe himself as a cliff-hanging Catholic: they don’t believe in God, but they DO believe that Mary was his mother.

Boru

[Abaddon_ire]

Dunno what to say. My holy catholic parents managed to raise four atheists. Yet while we had diverse opinions, my parents managed to raise unbiased children. why would that be, do you think?

[possibletarian]

Hello,

Does anyone have a difficult family that won't accept you're an Atheist? I've always been an Atheist, but my family all believe in a higher power. I don't mind people believing different to me (as long as they don't get abusive about it in any way), but they simply can't comprehend that I'm an Atheist - if it's ever mentioned they imply I'm in denial, which is ridiculous. I am more looking for input from someone in a similar position on how to approach this better mentally, not holding my breath though as I can see the forum is inactive.

Best Wishes

TheEnd8888

I've not really faced this most of my friends from church know i don't believe anymore, in fact they tend to ask me questions that implies they are doubting too.

But on the very rare occasion i get asked about my lack of faith, i simply ask them about their lack of faith in Allah or Thor then ask them to justify their belief rather than my unbelief.

It's not really meant to prove a point about the existence (or lack of) their god, but to show that they too dismiss gods and that they have the task of justifying their own belief to themselves.

[Mister Agenda]

Didn't come out on purpose to my family, but a persistent sister-in-law on my father's side found out since I wasn't lying about, just not bringing it up. A cousin figured it out from my Facebook footprint. My dad's side is UPC, my mom's side is Assembly of God; both Pentecostal sects. My mom's side doesn't give me much grief, my dad witnesses to me perpetually when I visit so I don't visit much and have learned to bring John Wayne or Hallmark movies to distract hime when I do. He thinks since I was baptized in the 'Name of Jesus tm', I'll recognize the antichrist (who is coming any day now) and get a chance to join the Tribulation Force or something. I'm way to old to disown, and I've never gotten that vibe from any of them anyway, most of them are as good as you'd expect them to be. I'm more frustrated so many of them won't get vaxxed.

[Brian37]

Hello,

Does anyone have a difficult family that won't accept you're an Atheist? I've always been an Atheist, but my family all believe in a higher power. I don't mind people believing different to me (as long as they don't get abusive about it in any way), but they simply can't comprehend that I'm an Atheist - if it's ever mentioned they imply I'm in denial, which is ridiculous. I am more looking for input from someone in a similar position on how to approach this better mentally, not holding my breath though as I can see the forum is inactive.

Best Wishes

TheEnd8888

My late adoptive mother never condemned me for leaving religion, but she also never understood why. She was my biggest supporter and supported me my entire life. I was always able to be honest with here about my positions on god/religion, but she simply disagreed. To her credit, anytime I mentioned an atheist author's book I wanted, she'd buy it for me. And she was a lifetime Catholic. She never understood why I didn't believe, but if anything, being a lifetime teacher, she valued thinking for yourself. 

The same cannot be said however with my biological family. I was adopted as toddler, cant be sure if I was 5 or 6 years old, I don't remember. But when I became an adult, I sought my biological family out. You want to talk about fundy land, holy crap, fundy fundy, fundy, fire and brimstone, burn in hell mentality. 

My older sister still to this day falsely plays victim and claims persecution. I can't be around them, not because they believe, but because everything is about religion and supporting the former guy.

I have no contact at all with my older brother. And not even over religion. He once threatened me with violence. I can take a lot of verbal crap, but not that. You can hate me, you can yell at me, but no, lay a hand on me, we are done.

EDIT,,,,,,,,  I forgot I had already commented on this in a prior post.

[AtheistQuest]

https://atheistforums.org/thread-63152-p...pid2054087

I was quiet about my atheistic view. Because my family was married to politics and it had people that financially supported religions who would not support me despite their attempt at politeness. There were people in my family that played the victim card to gain favors from others.

From what I understood about what you said, your adoptive mother was nurturing in her own way. Your biological family is another story, though. At least you figured out what your biological family was like compared to that adoptive mother of yours.