Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread

[Whateverist]

That looks like Turkey so that makes sense. the whole place smells of ass apparently.

I wonder if there is an asshattery near by. Save me a trip.

[Mequa]

[abaris]

[Alex K]

A quote from Vosur from a TTA thread about the movie God's Not Dead.

I found this comment below one of the reviews of this movie:

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A liberal muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist.

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!”

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.

”How old is this rock, pinhead?”

The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian”

”Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears. The same tears liberals cry for the “poor” (who today live in such luxury that most own refrigerators) when they jealously try to claw justly earned wealth from the deserving job creators. There is no doubt that at this point our professor wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a sophist liberal professor. He wished so much that he had a gun to shoot himself from embarrassment, but he himself had petitioned against them!

The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Small Government” flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.

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I love satire.

Now if they had based the movie on *that* story, I'd have watched it.

[tommynba]

Just when i thought nothing can surprise me

[SteelCurtain]

[Cyberman]

Now that's a miracle!

[Cyberman]

I'm feeling a little better after my untimely murder; so to show there's no hard feelings, here's a bit of yuletide magic to cut out and keep:

[robvalue]

So I said to my wife, "My secretary, then your sister, then your best friend, then the babysitter."

She said, "What the hell are you talking about?"

I replied, "You told me to put my affairs in order."

[pocaracas]

The funny part is that this is a real Bollywood movie!
Enjoy the color-burn on your retina!

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