(March 10, 2017 at 1:03 am)Mamacita Wrote:

(March 10, 2017 at 1:00 am)Whateverist Wrote: I'm the opposite.  I hate asking friends and acquaintances for favors.  I know a garden design/install guy who can grow anything.  He once told me his 'recipe' for amending soil so that pincushion flowers will grow in it.  (Very tricky and easy to kill.)  As a result I've had one alive for a few years now.  Never thought I'd go to all that trouble again.  But then I decided to make another raised bed planter to grow a couple more.  For the life of me I couldn't find his recipe which I got through Fb comments.  So I sent him a message that way but I left him lots of outs.  You know, "if you're not too busy" so if I don't hear back he's covered.  But today he responded and gave me of the recipe again.  Hell, if the plants die I would never let him know and certainly wouldn't blame him in any way.  I asked him as a friend, not in his capacity as a landscape expert.  For that, I should be a paying customer.

... and you didn't ask him to do it FOR you. I have trouble asking for favors, too. Needing help pains me. I getchu!

I have no problems educating my clients on which shampoos to stay away from or how to properly use conditioner ( yes there is a wrong way). So if my education will somehow benefit a client so that they can properly maintain their hair at home, I'll happily offer out the advice. That is something different entirely vs them asking me to give my talents to them at a discount or for free. 

I also go to great lengths to teach them how to use any product they are buying. My philosophy is why sell them a product if they don't know how to use it? It's important for people to understand why they are buying certain products and how to use them.

A woman recently blocked me on whatsapp because she told me she was invloved in finance and I asked her do I put my money into gold or property, I was half joking, I was just bored in work just trying to make convo.

I didn't expect her to give me a serious answer back, I would have been happy with a joke answer back, I don't blame her, it was just miscommunication and this isn't a tragic story but you talking about this just reminded me.

There's situations covered in Seinfeld where it would be really difficult for me to not ask my partner for free work, such as if they were a masseuse or phone sex operator.

As for me I've had my friend ask me for my staff discount and I said no. He tried guilt tripping me, telling me he knew I wouldn't do it, telling me I couldn't do it anyway because I'd be too stupid and ask for the wrong thing, then giving me the silent treatment then called me greedy.
He the reminded me of some stuff he gave me which I imediantly offered him back but he didn't want it.
In that sort of situation with me it just tends to get worse and worse for the other person the more psychological tricks they try and use, because I can see them coming from a mile away and I'll just be laughing at them and it becomes less and less likely that I'll ever want to do favours for them again ever.

There's fine lines between being kind, being mean and being reasonable.
I don't always get it perfect, sometimes I'm mean, sometimes I'm too kind and get taken advantage of.
Just from hearing your story I don't know how well you know these people but it sounds like it reaches the realms of taking advantage a while back.

I have a cousin who's a mechanic, one who's a panel beater, one who's an electrician, my nephew is an apprentice builder, but at the moment I need someone who can write in Spanish, and....damn I'm broke at the moment. :-)

Funny... I've helped out people with their computers.
Most times, I'm just glad to work on a problem... sure, it's my time off, but... what can I say? I get a kick out of it!
But if the problem is just too boring and simply requires leaving the computer on for a long long long time to check every file and clean them out... with a standard anti-virus or malware detector... than I don't care and charge something... (technically, that would be black market stuff, but oh well....)

Last time, the computer's hard drive had something crazy happen to it... For all intents and purposes, the hdd was blank... Plug in a win10 usb stick... run chkdsk /f.... oh look, everything is back! reboot... presto!
The person wanted me to ask money for it, but.... it was a 10 minute thing... what am I going to charge for that? bah!
Yeah, I kinda recovered very important and valuable work for that person, but I wouldn't call what I did "work"...
A week later, we get a gift for the kids from that person... There are some nice people out there.

But yeah... I too find it very difficult to say no, when people ask for my help. If I can help and have the time, why not?

(March 10, 2017 at 6:15 am)Little lunch Wrote: I have a cousin who's a mechanic, one who's a panel beater, one who's an electrician, my nephew is an apprentice builder, but at the moment I need someone who can write in Spanish, and....damn I'm broke at the moment. :-)

No problema. Yo tengo mucho espanol y soy el mejor en escribando!

Used to happen to me at work all the time. I'd show a co-worker how to perform a task and instead of remembering or even writing it down (or not using what I had written down for them) I'd get called over the next time the task came up. If I didn't do it, my reports to person would end up at my desk asking "why won't you help them, it's part of your job".

(March 10, 2017 at 10:10 am)Alex K Wrote:

(March 10, 2017 at 6:15 am)Little lunch Wrote: I have a cousin who's a mechanic, one who's a panel beater, one who's an electrician, my nephew is an apprentice builder, but at the moment I need someone who can write in Spanish, and....damn I'm broke at the moment. :-)

No problema. Yo tengo mucho espanol y soy el mejor en escribando!

Yo puedo escribir en portoguese y despues adaptar para español. Mucho mejor que Mexicano... Español de España. Es-Es, no Es-Mx

(March 10, 2017 at 10:10 am)Alex K Wrote:

(March 10, 2017 at 6:15 am)Little lunch Wrote: I have a cousin who's a mechanic, one who's a panel beater, one who's an electrician, my nephew is an apprentice builder, but at the moment I need someone who can write in Spanish, and....damn I'm broke at the moment. :-)

No problema. Yo tengo mucho espanol y soy el mejor en escribando!

I tried to learn Spanish, this is off the top of my head from several years ago.

No problem I have much Spanish and more writing? Or something.

Related in a way...

I'm in a strange little stage in my art career (if you can call it that). I get contacted about projects, but not enough to make a living. A lot of shady companies will contact you and try to get you to sign a contract that's 100 percent in their favor, with little pay, and gives them all the rights. needless to say, I dont jump on. I use to have the friend thing when I was younger, would ask me to draw or do such and such for them. Not anymore though, most my commissions come from those people now, I guess cause most of us have more money to throw around now a days.

I like helping people out, but there comes a time when someone is asking for to much of your time and not offering you anything in exchange.

@ Ivy

This is one of the many reasons I don't have real life friends. There are so many leeches.

Here's one example from me: I recently had my income reduced for about 4 months for not paying back a social care loan I never even took out. So either my ex-roommate or my mom did that with my money and spent it on themselves. I don't take out loans.

It's so good to be financially independent.