(November 3, 2018 at 3:39 am)The Valkyrie Wrote: What do you call the pink fleshy parts between a shark’s teeth?

Slow swimmers.

I'll have to agree considering I watched the Meg last night! 5/10 but fun anyway...

(November 3, 2018 at 6:46 am)Brian37 Wrote: I felt a lump in my dog's belly, the vet said it needed a dog scan.

Reminds me of this:
A man took his dog to the vet.
Vet: Sorry, but the dog is dead.
Man: No, my precious can’t be dead. I want a test.

So the vet whistled, and a cat came out and walked up and down from the dog’s nose to its tail and meowed.
Vet: Its dead
Man: No. I want another test.

So the vet whistled again, and a Labrador came out sniffed at the dog and barked twice.

Vet: That’s it. The dog is definitely dead. That will be $650/
Man: What: $650 just to t ell me my dog is dead?
Vet: No that would have been 50 bucks. The $600 is for the cat scan and the lab test.

I always find it amusing when someone says "I'm new".

I cant help but think, "Pretty sure you are not. Babies don't pop out of their mothers speaking like adults."

(November 5, 2018 at 7:49 am)Brian37 Wrote: I always find it amusing when someone says "I'm new".

I cant help but think, "Pretty sure you are not. Babies don't pop out of their mothers speaking like adults."

Fella goes into his favourite restaurant and sits at his usual table. A waitress comes over to take his order and he says, ‘I don’t recognize you - are you a new girl?’

‘No,’ she answers. ‘I’ve been a girl my whole life.’

Boru

You know how I know I've been on this board too long?

I was playing Red Dead Redemption 2 just now, and I saved a guy from a bear trap. First thing he says is "Praise Jesus!" so my first reaction was to shoot him in the head.

(November 6, 2018 at 10:03 pm)Cecelia Wrote: You know how I know I've been on this board too long?

I was playing Red Dead Redemption 2 just now, and I saved a guy from a bear trap.  First thing he says is "Praise Jesus!"  so my first reaction was to shoot him in the head.

You wicked little thing. I like it!

I just read that the 80s band Dexy's Midnight Runners broke up after Dexy finally managed to come on Eileen.

(November 7, 2018 at 3:29 am)The Valkyrie Wrote: I just read that the 80s band Dexy's Midnight Runners broke up after Dexy finally managed to come on Eileen.

She wasn't too happy about that. Some women find it too sticky and slimy.

Cardiologists at a press conference announce that one or two beers a day greatly reduce the chance of heart disease.

"What about livers?" Asks a reporter.

"Fuck livers!" Replies one of the cardiologists.

High five!

Kent Hovind, Ken Ham, and Donald Trump jump of a cliff. Who wins?




Society.