Sister asked me to be 'God father' to her son

[Tomatoshadow2]

@tackattack This is coming from someone who believes in God. Take that elsewhere man. I respect your right to be on this fourm and share what you have to say, but anything you speak on the matter of religion or how I should feel about being a whiteness to a christening is irrelevant. Think about it, the reason I have a problem with doing it, is because it involves something that is made up woo woo bullshit. Responses like yours, are the reason, I never discuss anything with faith, with any family member, because their so quick to judge.

@everyone else - Yes sorry, I should i stated its in the Catholic faith. Thanks everyone for your responses, the reason, I post these, is because this is the only place, where I can talk to fellow Atheists, as in my personal life, I have no other person with a Atheist view, very unfortunate.

Anyways, @Fake Messiah got it best, what I'm trying to convey, it's not that I have a problem being my sister's son's 'God father' the issue is this matter is automatically made to have a religious attachment, which makes me angry. She doesn't view it as just moral guidance, she views it as a religious teaching, which is even more laughable. Religion has no damn morals.

@onlinebiker That's the reason, I'm not sucking it up and just doing it man, it's that I couldn't ever imagine doing it in the first place, because of just what the matter is at hand.

@arewethereyet Yes I agree, it's nice. But, had a sour taste, after my sister commented 'okay, well then I guess you can't do it', because of the religious side. That pisses me off, honestly been thinking about limiting contact with all my family even more, because, their the only ones in my life, that have judged me for being an Atheist Their just standard Catholics, not as crazy as fundamentalists, but still crazy. I think being militant has always given me the knowledge to shut down any family, that brings up religious bullshit. I can't stand to see my niece and nephew be taught fake made up stories, to have everyone in the world feel a reason for 'a meaning of life'. I worry about them all the time, being brought to church, be be indoctrinated into religious bullshit.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

@tackattack This is coming from someone who believes in God. Take that elsewhere man. I respect your right to be on this fourm and share what you have to say, but anything you speak on the matter of religion or how I should feel about being a whiteness to a christening is irrelevant. Think about it, the reason I have a problem with doing it, is because it involves something that is made up woo woo bullshit. Responses like yours, are the reason, I never discuss anything with faith, with any family member, because their so quick to judge.

@everyone else - Yes sorry, I should i stated its in the Catholic faith. Thanks everyone for your responses, the reason, I post these, is because this is the only place, where I can talk to fellow Atheists, as in my personal life, I have no other person with a Atheist view, very unfortunate.  

Anyways, @Fake Messiah got it best, what I'm trying to convey, it's not that I have a problem being my sister's son's 'God father' the issue is this matter is automatically made to have a religious attachment, which makes me angry. She doesn't view it as just moral guidance, she views it as a religious teaching, which is even more laughable. Religion has no damn morals.

@onlinebiker  That's the reason, I'm not sucking it up and just doing it man, it's that I couldn't ever imagine doing it in the first place, because of just what the matter is at hand.

@arewethereyet Yes I agree, it's nice. But, had a sour taste, after my sister commented 'okay, well then I guess you can't do it', because of the religious side. That pisses me off, honestly been thinking about limiting contact with all my family even more, because, their the only ones in my life, that have judged me for being an Atheist Their just standard Catholics, not as crazy as fundamentalists, but still crazy. I think being militant has always given me the knowledge to shut down any family, that brings up religious bullshit.  I can't stand to see my niece and nephew be taught fake made up stories, to have everyone in the world feel a reason for 'a meaning of life'. I worry about them all the time, being brought to church, be be indoctrinated into religious bullshit.

Well, your sister obviously hasn't shut you out of her life because of your atheism, or she wouldn't have wanted you to stand godfather to her son, so I don't imagine she's going to shut you out of your nephew's life.

Maybe you could smooth things over with a statement like, 'I can't be godfather - you understand why - but I'll do what I can to be the world's most awesome uncle.' Unclehood is a pretty sweet deal on its own.

Boru

[tackattack]

@tackattack This is coming from someone who believes in God. Take that elsewhere man. I respect your right to be on this fourm and share what you have to say, but anything you speak on the matter of religion or how I should feel about being a whiteness to a christening is irrelevant. Think about it, the reason I have a problem with doing it, is because it involves something that is made up woo woo bullshit. Responses like yours, are the reason, I never discuss anything with faith, with any family member, because their so quick to judge.

You literally asked a forum to judge if you had done things the right way. On my militant-o-meter the irony is fairly high. My point was pretty simple:
A. She knew you were an anti-theist before she asked.
B. No description was give as to any rituals or personal inconvenience to you was listed, just acceptance of an honorary title.

A+B = she probably wasn’t interested in your irreligious affiliations with regard to your nephew at all.

C. You responded with an attack on her beliefs and a “fuck no”

Sounds like she was trying to be inclusive and accommodating and you were attempting to shove the olive branch up her ass. If you’re just tuning out opinions that don’t just stroke your ego or agree with you there’s a hippo rite button called ignore on the forums.

Because atheists don't have any religious affiliations religious people see them as easy targets to drag them/ shame them into their religious rites. I mean they would never ask a Muslim or a Jew to be a godfather in christening, although it's supposedly "a same God". They wouldn't dare asking them because they know that that Muslim or Jew would give them a look of "Are you insane?!" Yeah, not even words, just a look. That's obviously something on which atheists need to work on.

So fuck them.

I would have no problems with a catholic, atheist, Jew or Muslim being god parent to my child. My kids god parent is actually atheist. My god parents are cafeteria Catholics. It’s not some clever ploy to convert people, it’s a honor. Your crazy divisive ass Saying fuck them was all the acknowledgement I needed, not that I ever needed it.

[arewethereyet]

@Tomatoshadow2
I have to ask if you also balk at attending weddings and funerals of those close to you if they are in any way religious in nature.

[Fake Messiah]

I would have no problems with a catholic, atheist, Jew or Muslim being god parent to my child.

Really, you would ask a jew or a Muslim to participate in Christian rituals?

It’s not some clever ploy to convert people, it’s a honor. Your crazy divisive ass Saying fuck them was all the acknowledgement I needed, not that I ever needed it.

Yeah, this is what I meant when I said how Christians are shaming atheists into participating in christian rituals.

[HappySkeptic]

@tackattack This is coming from someone who believes in God. Take that elsewhere man. I respect your right to be on this fourm and share what you have to say, but anything you speak on the matter of religion or how I should feel about being a whiteness to a christening is irrelevant. Think about it, the reason I have a problem with doing it, is because it involves something that is made up woo woo bullshit. Responses like yours, are the reason, I never discuss anything with faith, with any family member, because their so quick to judge.

You literally asked a forum to judge if you had done things the right way. On my militant-o-meter the irony is fairly high. My point was pretty simple:
A. She knew you were an anti-theist before she asked.
B. No description was give as to any rituals or personal inconvenience to you was listed, just acceptance of an honorary title.

A+B = she probably wasn’t interested in your irreligious affiliations with regard to your nephew at all.

C. You responded with an attack on her beliefs and a “fuck no”

Sounds like she was trying to be inclusive and accommodating and you were attempting to shove the olive branch up her ass. If you’re just tuning out opinions that don’t just stroke your ego or agree with you there’s a hippo rite button called ignore on the forums.

Because atheists don't have any religious affiliations religious people see them as easy targets to drag them/ shame them into their religious rites. I mean they would never ask a Muslim or a Jew to be a godfather in christening, although it's supposedly "a same God". They wouldn't dare asking them because they know that that Muslim or Jew would give them a look of "Are you insane?!" Yeah, not even words, just a look. That's obviously something on which atheists need to work on.

So fuck them.

I would have no problems with a catholic, atheist, Jew or Muslim being god parent to my child. My kids god parent is actually atheist. My god parents are cafeteria Catholics. It’s not some clever ploy to convert people, it’s a honor. Your crazy divisive ass Saying fuck them was all the acknowledgement I needed, not that I ever needed it.

As an atheist and former Christian, I would not agree to be a godfather. 

I realize that some marginal Catholics may regard this is a social role, but it is meant by the church to be a religious role.  The parents and godparents are expected to make a pledge of faith and to promise to bring the child up in the teachings of the church.  I could not do that.  It would be a complete lie. 

I don't hate Christianity.  I think its articles of faith are false, but I recognize what it gives to people.  I would NOT lie during the christening ceremony because I actually do honor their right to sacred beliefs.  To lie would dishonor them and myself.

My view isn't the same as the OP, but we get to the same place.  Hell NO!

[Cecelia]

A godparent is often very much expected to be involved in the religious upbringing of a godchild. Not always, but it depends on the denomination I suppose.

My kids don't have godparents, but my best friend and her wife would take our kids in should something happen to me and my husband. I picked her mainly because she and her wife only have two kids, and they would have an easier time than any of my siblings (who have more kids of their own). When my eldest three turn 18, then they'll have that position.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

I would have no problems with a catholic, atheist, Jew or Muslim being god parent to my child.

Really, you would ask a jew or a Muslim to participate in Christian rituals?

It’s not some clever ploy to convert people, it’s a honor. Your crazy divisive ass Saying fuck them was all the acknowledgement I needed, not that I ever needed it.

Yeah, this is what I meant when I said how Christians are shaming atheists into participating in christian rituals.

Godparenting is not an exclusively Christian practice. It's not even an exclusively religious one.

Boru

[onlinebiker]

Really, you would ask a jew or a Muslim to participate in Christian rituals?


Yeah, this is what I meant when I said how Christians are shaming atheists into participating in christian rituals.

Godparenting is not an exclusively Christian practice. It's not even an exclusively religious one.

Boru

But it does add to your list of kids you need to buy a birthday gift...

[tackattack]

---

I would have no problems with a catholic, atheist, Jew or Muslim being god parent to my child.

Really, you would ask a jew or a Muslim to participate in Christian rituals?

It’s not some clever ploy to convert people, it’s a honor. Your crazy divisive ass Saying fuck them was all the acknowledgement I needed, not that I ever needed it.

Yeah, this is what I meant when I said how Christians are shaming atheists into participating in christian rituals.

---

Yes I would. I asked an atheist to be my kid's God parent. I didn't have any close muslim friends and my few jewish friends were mostly single. For me it's less about their religious affiliations/beliefs and more about their relationship with me and my trust in them, in every area.

How is it shaming. As has been pointed out, being a Godparent isn't a Christian thing. There are rituals built around it in staunch Catholic circles and some denominations. But in my experience it doesn't even qualify as a ritual because there is nothing to do, much less a Christian specific one. When my Catholic God parents and my parents exchanged God parents titles, my family stood in front of their catholic church and accepted that privilege at the end of mass. There was no Christening, confession or ceremony. I've seen bigger announcements about finger foods at a baptist church. When I asked my atheist friend if he and his wife would be Godparents, it was over merlot and pot stickers at a barbeque in our back yard. There were no rituals or such described in the OP. It was just a sister asking a brother to be something. Just taking in the information that was given and basing an opinion on my experience. If the OP had said, "she wants me to dress in this funny robe an confess all of my sins to their priest and promise to raise the child in a spiritual set of beliefs I disagree with in a public declaration of faith" then I would say he's probably spot on with his answer, although there would probably be room for negotiation still.

---

You literally asked a forum to judge if you had done things the right way. On my militant-o-meter the irony is fairly high. My point was pretty simple:
A. She knew you were an anti-theist before she asked.
B. No description was give as to any rituals or personal inconvenience to you was listed, just acceptance of an honorary title.

A+B = she probably wasn’t interested in your irreligious affiliations with regard to your nephew at all.

C. You responded with an attack on her beliefs and a “fuck no”

Sounds like she was trying to be inclusive and accommodating and you were attempting to shove the olive branch up her ass. If you’re just tuning out opinions that don’t just stroke your ego or agree with you there’s a hippo rite button called ignore on the forums.

I would have no problems with a catholic, atheist, Jew or Muslim being god parent to my child. My kids god parent is actually atheist. My god parents are cafeteria Catholics. It’s not some clever ploy to convert people, it’s a honor. Your crazy divisive ass Saying fuck them was all the acknowledgement I needed, not that I ever needed it.

As an atheist and former Christian, I would not agree to be a godfather. 

I realize that some marginal Catholics may regard this is a social role, but it is meant by the church to be a religious role.  The parents and godparents are expected to make a pledge of faith and to promise to bring the child up in the teachings of the church.  I could not do that.  It would be a complete lie. 

I don't hate Christianity.  I think its articles of faith are false, but I recognize what it gives to people.  I would NOT lie during the christening ceremony because I actually do honor their right to sacred beliefs.  To lie would dishonor them and myself.

My view isn't the same as the OP, but we get to the same place.  Hell NO!

---

"The church" seeks to take a lot of secular things and mean them to be religious. So do lots of other religions. Communal parenting though has a much longer history. Maternal/parental exclusivity is very cultural in nature and there has been plenty of scholarly research on varying methods. I see God-parenting as less of a religious thing, and more of a communal parenting stance. Other believers of other denominations could see it as completely opposite. None of that was in the OP information though. It's true though, that when placed in the context of a community of religious belief, that it could be over-weighted to a religious bias. It doesn't have to be though and my only point was that they're not a necessary tie to religion, ceremony or religious ceremonies.
some non-american parenting practices research