Sister asked me to be 'God father' to her son

[Fake Messiah]

Godparenting is not an exclusively Christian practice. It's not even an exclusively religious one.

Boru

Well, I haven't heard about secular godparenting but maybe then OP and his sister can meet mid way: if she wants him to be the godfather then she should make it a secular ceremony.

I mean you're in a catholic surroundings and doesn't it require in Catholicism for a godfather to go to a confession first and then also say some prayers during the rite/ ceremony? Which also means that godfather has to be a confirmed Catholic and in this case means that OP is a lapsed ex catholic and his sister wants him to go into the shit again, which is, frankly, disrespectful.

Plus, Vatican certainly doesn't allow transgender or gay people to be godparents and I certainly couldn't be a part of some process that is bigoted.

But then OP wasn't precise which denomination he was talking about, I mean we talked about Catholics but if it was orthodox then again just a sight of it makes me puke and I would certainly tell anyone who tells me to participate in orthodox christening to "Fuck off"





And maybe he's in Anglican church where it seems according to Bridget Jones movies people yell "Fuck!" in church which may actually be fun.

[Prycejosh1987]

My brother is the 'God father' of our niece. He takes the job very serious so i hear. I think being a God father is usually overrated. Most people do not take it seriously. I think religion plays a huge part in life, and in support for 'God children'.

[Ranjr]

In my experience, being an uncle makes you de facto god parent to the niece or nephew, regardless of any religious tradition.

[Rev. Rye]

Part of me thinks you should give them an offer they can’t refuse, but the rest of me isn’t sure what that would entail in this context.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Godparenting is not an exclusively Christian practice. It's not even an exclusively religious one.

Boru

Well, I haven't heard about secular godparenting but maybe then OP and his sister can meet mid way: if she wants him to be the godfather then she should make it a secular ceremony.

I mean you're in a catholic surroundings and doesn't it require in Catholicism for a godfather to go to a confession first and then also say some prayers during the rite/ ceremony? Which also means that godfather has to be a confirmed Catholic and in this case means that OP is a lapsed ex catholic and his sister wants him to go into the shit again, which is, frankly, disrespectful.

Plus, Vatican certainly doesn't allow transgender or gay people to be godparents and I certainly couldn't be a part of some process that is bigoted.

But then OP wasn't precise which denomination he was talking about, I mean we talked about Catholics but if it was orthodox then again just a sight of it makes me puke and I would certainly tell anyone who tells me to participate in orthodox christening to "Fuck off"





And maybe he's in Anglican church where it seems according to Bridget Jones movies people yell "Fuck!" in church which may actually be fun.

A lot of humanist societies are incorporating the practice of godparenting (although they call it ‘guide parenting’, which sounds kind of weasel-worded). It’s sort of like being an ex-officio parent, in which the adult(s) in question promise help advise and nurture child.

The Chinese have a similar custom, also non-religious.

Boru

[arewethereyet]

My father's brother and sister were chosen as my godparents. Even without that designation they would have been part of my life. When I was young and dad was in college his brother was at the same college so I saw him pretty regularly. Later we moved to the town where my aunt lived while my uncle moved a state away. I spent a lot of time with her.

In between we were always together at the grandparents' home for holidays. That they were my godparents didn't really come into play. I don't know if they spent much time thinking about it. I know I didn't. They were the aunt and uncle who were close due to geography since the other side of the family was a thousand miles away.

The only time I recall it being brought up at all was at my high school graduation when a point was made to snap a picture of me with one of them on either side. I'm pretty sure that was grandma's idea.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

In my experience, being an uncle makes you de facto god parent to the niece or nephew, regardless of any religious tradition.

It can work both ways. My own godfather was always ‘Uncle Tommy’ to me (and I had a surfeit of biological uncles). After my da, he was easily the biggest influence on my life.

Boru

[tackattack]

I agree to an extent that uncles and aunts are de facto godparent types because their members of the extended family unit. But my godmother and God sisters are not blood. We spent childhood together playing board games and I’ll kind of stuff stuff I didn’t even deal with my uncles and aunts and it seemed closer because they were always there In our lives.I wouldn’t suggest disrespecting anyone’s beliefs, or lying to save face. I do support more extended communal parenting And I see godparents, whether secular or religious, as a helpful part of it

[sdelsolray]

How about telling your sister, "I will be a good uncle to and for your child", or something like that?

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

I agree to an extent that uncles and aunts are de facto godparent types because their members of the extended family unit. But my godmother and God sisters are not blood. We spent childhood together playing board games and I’ll kind of stuff stuff I didn’t even deal with my uncles and aunts and it seemed closer because they were always there In our lives.I wouldn’t suggest disrespecting anyone’s beliefs, or lying to save face. I do support more extended communal parenting And I see godparents, whether secular or religious, as a helpful part of it

^This. I view godparenting more as an important part of 'it takes a village to raise a child' than as a duty to be shunned because it may have some religious aspects to it.

Boru