Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: December 18, 2024, 3:01 pm
Atheist Forums › Community › Religion › Christianity v
Get In The Ark Before It Is Too Late!!!

Thread Rating:
  • 1 Vote(s) - 1 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Thread Modes
Get In The Ark Before It Is Too Late!!!
JesusHChrist Offline
Thunder Thighs
****
Religious Views: Christian Satanist
Posts: 2962
Threads: 44
Joined: March 22, 2013
Reputation: 39
#611
RE: Get In The Ark Before It Is Too Late!!!
July 26, 2014 at 10:06 pm
Rev's back! Yay!
Find
Reply
Cyberman Away
Beta cuck male
*****
Religious Views: Frisbeetarian
Posts: 25314
Threads: 239
Joined: August 26, 2010
Reputation: 156
#612
RE: Get In The Ark Before It Is Too Late!!!
July 26, 2014 at 10:07 pm (This post was last modified: July 26, 2014 at 10:07 pm by Cyberman.)
(July 26, 2014 at 10:04 pm)PaulMaul Wrote: I'm still wondering what Noah fed to the carnivores.

All the dinosaurs and unicorns.

Actually, all the animals were magicked into being vegetarian - right, Rev?
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
Find
Reply
Anomalocaris Offline
Stem arthropod
*****
Religious Views: None
Posts: 19789
Threads: 57
Joined: September 24, 2010
Reputation: 85
#613
RE: Get In The Ark Before It Is Too Late!!!
July 26, 2014 at 10:07 pm (This post was last modified: July 26, 2014 at 10:08 pm by Anomalocaris.)
(July 26, 2014 at 10:04 pm)PaulMaul Wrote: I'm still wondering what Noah fed to the carnivores.


Bananas. He was made of them.
Find
Reply
Crossless2.0 Offline
Senior Member
****
Religious Views: Atheist
Posts: 7568
Threads: 20
Joined: July 26, 2013
Reputation: 54
#614
RE: Get In The Ark Before It Is Too Late!!!
July 26, 2014 at 10:23 pm
(July 26, 2014 at 10:00 pm)Revelation777 Wrote:
(July 25, 2014 at 12:11 pm)Blackout Wrote: Brace yourselves, Revelation will arrive any time now, get ready for the impact

4 Horsemen

Oh, Rev, you just can't quit me, can you, chew toy? Angel Cloud
Find
Reply
Ravenshire Offline Donators
Assassin to (and of) kings.
*****
Religious Views: Purloiner of personal property.
Posts: 8265
Threads: 40
Joined: March 18, 2014
Reputation: 54
#615
RE: Get In The Ark Before It Is Too Late!!!
July 27, 2014 at 12:01 am
Now that Rev's back, do we have to quit the orgy on the top deck?!?
Thief and assassin for hire. Member in good standing of the Rogues Guild.
Find
Reply
Revelation777 Offline
Banned
Religious Views: Christian
Posts: 658
Threads: 25
Joined: February 13, 2014
Reputation: 3
#616
RE: Get In The Ark Before It Is Too Late!!!
July 27, 2014 at 12:01 am (This post was last modified: July 27, 2014 at 12:09 am by Revelation777.)
(July 23, 2014 at 12:51 am)Rhythm Wrote:
(July 23, 2014 at 12:27 am)Wyrd of Gawd Wrote: Remember, Noah got the inside scoop about the coming invasion.
-and then built an impossible barge.......

Quote: When the war was over his great grandson Nimrod ended up as the boss man in Babylon (Babel) and he built at least four cities in Assyria itself, including its future capital. That's the city Jonah had to report to.
LOL, "Noah" is fiction buddy, as are his "sons" - as is "Nimrod". You've swallowed entirely too much biblical horseshit man.

It is far from impossible, it was built and truly sea worthy. Some modern day vessels share similar ratio of dimensions as the ark had.

Noah is real and I hope you repent so you can meet him some day.
(July 24, 2014 at 8:17 pm)JesusHChrist Wrote: We need a get in the ark before it's too late part deux thread.

Don't delay, dark clouds ahead...


4 Horsemen
(July 26, 2014 at 10:06 pm)JesusHChrist Wrote: Rev's back! Yay!

Your chew toy is back? Dog Bone
(July 26, 2014 at 10:02 pm)Chuck Wrote:
(July 26, 2014 at 9:58 pm)Revelation777 Wrote: There is no where in the flood account that the animals were in a trance.


So the ark was full of shit.

My guess was they probably shoveled it out the window.
(July 27, 2014 at 12:01 am)GalacticBusDriver Wrote: Now that Rev's back, do we have to quit the orgy on the top deck?!?

The ark is not a place of sin and debauchery. It is a place of safety and fellowship.
(July 24, 2014 at 8:22 pm)JesusHChrist Wrote:
(July 24, 2014 at 8:20 pm)Beccs Wrote: Because this ark did a Titanic . . .
Next ark thread will be more love boat, less titanic. I promise I'll behave. Angel

They made fun of Noah too when he was building the ark.
(July 25, 2014 at 1:09 am)SteelCurtain Wrote: It's been about a week, yeah? Methinks he'll come back stronger than ever. Redouble his efforts to save our nasty souls.

Only Jesus can save your soul. I come to present to you the truth.
Find
Reply
Losty Offline
LastPoet’s jerkoff #4
*****
Religious Views: Pastafarian
Posts: 28389
Threads: 226
Joined: March 24, 2014
Reputation: 185
#617
RE: Get In The Ark Before It Is Too Late!!!
July 27, 2014 at 12:10 am (This post was last modified: July 27, 2014 at 12:11 am by Losty.)
(July 27, 2014 at 12:01 am)GalacticBusDriver Wrote: Now that Rev's back, do we have to quit the orgy on the top deck?!?

No Sad
I don't wantz to stop.
(August 21, 2017 at 11:31 pm)KevinM1 Wrote: "I'm not a troll"
Religious Views: He gay

0/10

Hammy Wrote:and we also have a sheep on our bed underneath as well
Find
Reply
Revelation777 Offline
Banned
Religious Views: Christian
Posts: 658
Threads: 25
Joined: February 13, 2014
Reputation: 3
#618
RE: Get In The Ark Before It Is Too Late!!!
July 27, 2014 at 12:12 am (This post was last modified: July 27, 2014 at 12:13 am by Revelation777.)
(July 26, 2014 at 12:17 am)ignoramus Wrote:
(July 25, 2014 at 2:47 pm)Stimbo Wrote: The original ark had people shovelling shit over the side, too...

All the animals didn't need to poo! They were in a trance! Didn't you watch the movie.
I assume the remaining humans just did a dump anywhere and used a nearby furry animal to wipe up.

Noah and his family may of defecated in a bucket and threw it out the window. But these details are not mentioned in Scripture. The important thing was they were safe in the ark from judgement.
Find
Reply
Losty Offline
LastPoet’s jerkoff #4
*****
Religious Views: Pastafarian
Posts: 28389
Threads: 226
Joined: March 24, 2014
Reputation: 185
#619
RE: Get In The Ark Before It Is Too Late!!!
July 27, 2014 at 12:13 am
(July 27, 2014 at 12:01 am)Revelation777 Wrote:
(July 27, 2014 at 12:01 am)GalacticBusDriver Wrote: Now that Rev's back, do we have to quit the orgy on the top deck?!?
The ark is not a place of sin and debauchery. It is a place of safety and fellowship.

We did some redecorating while you were gone Devil
(August 21, 2017 at 11:31 pm)KevinM1 Wrote: "I'm not a troll"
Religious Views: He gay

0/10

Hammy Wrote:and we also have a sheep on our bed underneath as well
Find
Reply
Ravenshire Offline Donators
Assassin to (and of) kings.
*****
Religious Views: Purloiner of personal property.
Posts: 8265
Threads: 40
Joined: March 18, 2014
Reputation: 54
#620
RE: Get In The Ark Before It Is Too Late!!!
July 27, 2014 at 12:16 am
(July 27, 2014 at 12:01 am)Revelation777 Wrote:
(July 27, 2014 at 12:01 am)GalacticBusDriver Wrote: Now that Rev's back, do we have to quit the orgy on the top deck?!?

The ark is not a place of sin and debauchery. It is a place of safety and fellowship.

Right then, condoms all 'round. We've got the "fellowship" bit handled already and sin? Pfff. You have to prove that's a real thing.

Orgy's still on! [Image: yahoo.gif]
Thief and assassin for hire. Member in good standing of the Rogues Guild.
Find
Reply


Atheist Forums › Community › Religion › Christianity v
Get In The Ark Before It Is Too Late!!!

Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Where does the belief that seeds die before they turn into a living plant come from? FlatAssembler 17 1946 August 3, 2023 at 10:38 am
Last Post: The Grand Nudger
  Aiders of the Lost Ark LinuxGal 1 830 November 26, 2022 at 9:47 am
Last Post: Gwaithmir
Thumbs Down The story of Noah' s Ark - or - God is dumber than you. onlinebiker 75 9269 September 24, 2021 at 5:53 pm
Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4
  Too Soon For a Lie YahwehIsTheWay 14 3095 December 5, 2018 at 7:16 pm
Last Post: T0 Th3 M4X
  Too Late Fucktards. You Own Him Now. Minimalist 10 1814 October 10, 2018 at 4:14 pm
Last Post: Brian37
  A question about the crew and passengers on the Ark. Gawdzilla Sama 68 8951 September 16, 2018 at 5:11 pm
Last Post: vorlon13
  Jesus. A Day Late and a Dollar Short Minimalist 20 4946 April 24, 2017 at 3:25 pm
Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4
  Questions about noah ark king krish 210 54818 April 8, 2017 at 6:39 pm
Last Post: The Grand Nudger
  The other problems with Noahs ark dyresand 27 5982 April 7, 2017 at 7:40 pm
Last Post: TheoneandonlytrueGod
  There is still time to covert to Christianity before Christmas! Loading Please Wait 12 3756 January 29, 2017 at 4:22 pm
Last Post: The Wise Joker



Users browsing this thread: 9 Guest(s)