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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

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joke time
Darinda Offline
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#6121
RE: joke time
September 5, 2022 at 6:45 pm
A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.”
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Fake Messiah Offline
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#6122
RE: joke time
September 7, 2022 at 11:16 am
A nun dies.
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
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Silver Offline Donators
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#6123
RE: joke time
September 7, 2022 at 9:21 pm
If you identify a UFO, it becomes an FO.
"Never trust a fox. Looks like a dog, behaves like a cat."
~ Erin Hunter
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Fireball Offline
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#6124
RE: joke time
September 7, 2022 at 10:42 pm
(September 7, 2022 at 9:21 pm)Tomato Wrote: If you identify a UFO, it becomes an FO.

...an IFO... Tongue
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
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BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#6125
RE: joke time
September 8, 2022 at 5:49 am
'DOceratops or DoNOTceratops. There is no TRYceratops.' - Master Yoda's dinosaur lecture.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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The Valkyrie Offline
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#6126
RE: joke time
September 9, 2022 at 5:49 am
I went out to have a few drinks last weekend.

My last uber was a bit of a poser and kinda demanding.

He had blue lights on the top of his car, and he demanded I wear matching bracelets for the duration of my ride.

The hotel kinda sucked, too!

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
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Jackalope Away
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#6127
RE: joke time
September 9, 2022 at 3:30 pm
(September 3, 2022 at 5:33 pm)A. Secular Human Wrote:
(September 2, 2022 at 2:43 am)Tomato Wrote: Who still has a land line?

Old people.

I resemble that comment!

Bundling a land line with my Internet is cheaper than Internet alone.  Go figure.

Yep. I mean, I technically have a land line bundled with my internet but I couldn't tell you what the phone number is, and there has literally never been a telephone plugged into it.
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A. Secular Human Offline
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#6128
RE: joke time
September 9, 2022 at 10:39 pm
(September 9, 2022 at 3:30 pm)Jackalope Wrote:
(September 3, 2022 at 5:33 pm)A. Secular Human Wrote: I resemble that comment!

Bundling a land line with my Internet is cheaper than Internet alone.  Go figure.

Yep.  I mean, I technically have a land line bundled with my internet but I couldn't tell you what the phone number is, and there has literally never been a telephone plugged into it.


I guess all of those spam calls are just falling into a pile on the floor somewhere...a dustpan and broom might be needed.

Call Hormel.  They might be interested.
Disappointing theists since 1968!
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onlinebiker Offline
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#6129
RE: joke time
September 10, 2022 at 4:34 am
(September 9, 2022 at 10:39 pm)A. Secular Human Wrote:
(September 9, 2022 at 3:30 pm)Jackalope Wrote: Yep.  I mean, I technically have a land line bundled with my internet but I couldn't tell you what the phone number is, and there has literally never been a telephone plugged into it.


I guess all of those spam calls are just falling into a pile on the floor somewhere...a dustpan and broom might be needed.

Call Hormel.  They might be interested.

I was stationed with a lady from Hawaii and got a chance to meet ( and party) with her mother on several occasions. Wonderful people - with a borderline psychotic love of Spam. Mom would eat it straight from the can....(shudder)
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A. Secular Human Offline
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#6130
RE: joke time
September 10, 2022 at 3:31 pm
(September 10, 2022 at 4:34 am)onlinebiker Wrote:
(September 9, 2022 at 10:39 pm)A. Secular Human Wrote: I guess all of those spam calls are just falling into a pile on the floor somewhere...a dustpan and broom might be needed.

Call Hormel.  They might be interested.

I was stationed with a lady from Hawaii and got a chance to meet ( and party) with her mother on several occasions. Wonderful people - with a borderline psychotic love of Spam. Mom would eat it straight from the can....(shudder)

Yup.  Wife's family on Father's side is from the islands.  Spam was a treat, when she was growing up.

That changed, when we got together, and I told her what was in it.
Disappointing theists since 1968!
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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

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