Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: April 26, 2024, 10:53 pm
Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

Thread Rating:
  • 1 Vote(s) - 5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Thread Modes
joke time
Darinda Offline
Member
***
Religious Views: None
Posts: 572
Threads: 2
Joined: October 30, 2009
Reputation: 13
#6121
RE: joke time
September 5, 2022 at 6:45 pm
A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.”
Find
Reply
Fake Messiah Offline
Activist for Sin
*****
Religious Views: Prozac supplants exorcism
Posts: 15252
Threads: 449
Joined: March 29, 2015
Reputation: 29
#6122
RE: joke time
September 7, 2022 at 11:16 am
A nun dies.
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
Find
Reply
Foxaèr Offline Donators
Faith's Nightmare
*****
Religious Views: Infidel Savant
Posts: 30821
Threads: 1382
Joined: March 15, 2013
Reputation: 152
#6123
RE: joke time
September 7, 2022 at 9:21 pm
If you identify a UFO, it becomes an FO.
"Never trust a fox. Looks like a dog, behaves like a cat."
~ Erin Hunter
Find
Reply
Fireball Offline
Refractory Member
****
Religious Views: Atheist
Posts: 9342
Threads: 19
Joined: September 8, 2015
Reputation: 79
#6124
RE: joke time
September 7, 2022 at 10:42 pm
(September 7, 2022 at 9:21 pm)Tomato Wrote: If you identify a UFO, it becomes an FO.

...an IFO... Tongue
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
Find
Reply
BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
Power-Drunk Administrator
*******
Religious Views: Headology
Posts: 44029
Threads: 529
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation: 109
#6125
RE: joke time
September 8, 2022 at 5:49 am
'DOceratops or DoNOTceratops. There is no TRYceratops.' - Master Yoda's dinosaur lecture.

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
Find
Reply
The Valkyrie Offline
Stabby Titz
*******
Religious Views: Outdated
Posts: 34734
Threads: 200
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation: 145
#6126
RE: joke time
September 9, 2022 at 5:49 am
I went out to have a few drinks last weekend.

My last uber was a bit of a poser and kinda demanding.

He had blue lights on the top of his car, and he demanded I wear matching bracelets for the duration of my ride.

The hotel kinda sucked, too!
Dying to live, living to die.
Find
Reply
Jackalope Offline
Completely out of fucks
*******
Religious Views: Absent
Posts: 30594
Threads: 204
Joined: July 19, 2011
Reputation: 141
#6127
RE: joke time
September 9, 2022 at 3:30 pm
(September 3, 2022 at 5:33 pm)A. Secular Human Wrote:
(September 2, 2022 at 2:43 am)Tomato Wrote: Who still has a land line?

Old people.

I resemble that comment!

Bundling a land line with my Internet is cheaper than Internet alone.  Go figure.

Yep. I mean, I technically have a land line bundled with my internet but I couldn't tell you what the phone number is, and there has literally never been a telephone plugged into it.
Find
Reply
A. Secular Human Offline
Grand Poobah, Atheist Nerds of the U. S.
***
Religious Views: God who?
Posts: 1259
Threads: 0
Joined: October 2, 2018
Reputation: 11
#6128
RE: joke time
September 9, 2022 at 10:39 pm
(September 9, 2022 at 3:30 pm)Jackalope Wrote:
(September 3, 2022 at 5:33 pm)A. Secular Human Wrote: I resemble that comment!

Bundling a land line with my Internet is cheaper than Internet alone.  Go figure.

Yep.  I mean, I technically have a land line bundled with my internet but I couldn't tell you what the phone number is, and there has literally never been a telephone plugged into it.


I guess all of those spam calls are just falling into a pile on the floor somewhere...a dustpan and broom might be needed.

Call Hormel.  They might be interested.
Disappointing theists since 1968!
Find
Reply
onlinebiker Offline
Senior Member
****
Religious Views: cynical S.O.B.
Posts: 9538
Threads: 410
Joined: October 3, 2018
Reputation: 17
#6129
RE: joke time
September 10, 2022 at 4:34 am
(September 9, 2022 at 10:39 pm)A. Secular Human Wrote:
(September 9, 2022 at 3:30 pm)Jackalope Wrote: Yep.  I mean, I technically have a land line bundled with my internet but I couldn't tell you what the phone number is, and there has literally never been a telephone plugged into it.


I guess all of those spam calls are just falling into a pile on the floor somewhere...a dustpan and broom might be needed.

Call Hormel.  They might be interested.

I was stationed with a lady from Hawaii and got a chance to meet ( and party) with her mother on several occasions. Wonderful people - with a borderline psychotic love of Spam. Mom would eat it straight from the can....(shudder)
Find
Reply
A. Secular Human Offline
Grand Poobah, Atheist Nerds of the U. S.
***
Religious Views: God who?
Posts: 1259
Threads: 0
Joined: October 2, 2018
Reputation: 11
#6130
RE: joke time
September 10, 2022 at 3:31 pm
(September 10, 2022 at 4:34 am)onlinebiker Wrote:
(September 9, 2022 at 10:39 pm)A. Secular Human Wrote: I guess all of those spam calls are just falling into a pile on the floor somewhere...a dustpan and broom might be needed.

Call Hormel.  They might be interested.

I was stationed with a lady from Hawaii and got a chance to meet ( and party) with her mother on several occasions. Wonderful people - with a borderline psychotic love of Spam. Mom would eat it straight from the can....(shudder)

Yup.  Wife's family on Father's side is from the islands.  Spam was a treat, when she was growing up.

That changed, when we got together, and I told her what was in it.
Disappointing theists since 1968!
Find
Reply


Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  No joke -- I have decided to convert to Christianity! Jehanne 10 2331 April 23, 2021 at 9:54 pm
Last Post: arewethereyet
  A sacred joke. Mystic 15 2762 January 20, 2018 at 10:00 pm
Last Post: Cyberman
  Big Bang Theory Neil Tyson joke Brian37 1 1503 May 18, 2016 at 8:07 pm
Last Post: vorlon13
  There Has To Be A Joke Here, Somewhere! Minimalist 3 2359 October 1, 2014 at 10:57 pm
Last Post: Zidneya
  Joke Minimalist 59 17136 June 27, 2014 at 12:25 am
Last Post: Ravenshire
  A little joke Sup 11 4309 April 10, 2014 at 7:33 pm
Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4
  Evolution (is a) joke JesusLover1 12 8998 March 2, 2014 at 6:24 pm
Last Post: Minimalist
  Preacher joke 02 Drich 2 1899 February 12, 2014 at 7:15 am
Last Post: NoraBrimstone
  Preacher joke 01 Drich 8 4513 January 20, 2014 at 12:31 am
Last Post: Drich
  Make Up An Atheist Joke freedomfromforum 5 2891 October 6, 2013 at 12:30 am
Last Post: Angrboda



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)