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RE: joke time
September 7, 2022 at 11:16 am
A nun dies.
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
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RE: joke time
September 7, 2022 at 9:21 pm
If you identify a UFO, it becomes an FO.
"What a little moonlight can do." ~ Billie Holiday
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RE: joke time
September 7, 2022 at 10:42 pm
(September 7, 2022 at 9:21 pm)Tomato Wrote: If you identify a UFO, it becomes an FO.
...an IFO... 
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
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RE: joke time
September 8, 2022 at 5:49 am
'DOceratops or DoNOTceratops. There is no TRYceratops.' - Master Yoda's dinosaur lecture.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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RE: joke time
September 9, 2022 at 5:49 am
I went out to have a few drinks last weekend.
My last uber was a bit of a poser and kinda demanding.
He had blue lights on the top of his car, and he demanded I wear matching bracelets for the duration of my ride.
The hotel kinda sucked, too!
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
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RE: joke time
September 9, 2022 at 3:30 pm
(September 3, 2022 at 5:33 pm)A. Secular Human Wrote: (September 2, 2022 at 2:43 am)Tomato Wrote: Who still has a land line?
Old people.
I resemble that comment!
Bundling a land line with my Internet is cheaper than Internet alone. Go figure.
Yep. I mean, I technically have a land line bundled with my internet but I couldn't tell you what the phone number is, and there has literally never been a telephone plugged into it.
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RE: joke time
September 9, 2022 at 10:39 pm
(September 9, 2022 at 3:30 pm)Jackalope Wrote: (September 3, 2022 at 5:33 pm)A. Secular Human Wrote: I resemble that comment!
Bundling a land line with my Internet is cheaper than Internet alone. Go figure.
Yep. I mean, I technically have a land line bundled with my internet but I couldn't tell you what the phone number is, and there has literally never been a telephone plugged into it.
I guess all of those spam calls are just falling into a pile on the floor somewhere...a dustpan and broom might be needed.
Call Hormel. They might be interested.
Disappointing theists since 1968!
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RE: joke time
September 10, 2022 at 4:34 am
(September 9, 2022 at 10:39 pm)A. Secular Human Wrote: (September 9, 2022 at 3:30 pm)Jackalope Wrote: Yep. I mean, I technically have a land line bundled with my internet but I couldn't tell you what the phone number is, and there has literally never been a telephone plugged into it.
I guess all of those spam calls are just falling into a pile on the floor somewhere...a dustpan and broom might be needed.
Call Hormel. They might be interested.
I was stationed with a lady from Hawaii and got a chance to meet ( and party) with her mother on several occasions. Wonderful people - with a borderline psychotic love of Spam. Mom would eat it straight from the can....(shudder)
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RE: joke time
September 10, 2022 at 3:31 pm
(September 10, 2022 at 4:34 am)onlinebiker Wrote: (September 9, 2022 at 10:39 pm)A. Secular Human Wrote: I guess all of those spam calls are just falling into a pile on the floor somewhere...a dustpan and broom might be needed.
Call Hormel. They might be interested.
I was stationed with a lady from Hawaii and got a chance to meet ( and party) with her mother on several occasions. Wonderful people - with a borderline psychotic love of Spam. Mom would eat it straight from the can....(shudder)
Yup. Wife's family on Father's side is from the islands. Spam was a treat, when she was growing up.
That changed, when we got together, and I told her what was in it.
Disappointing theists since 1968!
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RE: joke time
September 11, 2022 at 7:49 pm
A teacher says to her class one morning, "Today we're going to use the word contagious in a sentence. Who wants to go first?"
Jenny in the front row stand up and says, "My father said the new strain of 'flu is very contagious."
"Very good, Jenny," said the teacher. "Next?"
Sally in the second row stands up and says, "I've heard that chicken pox is very contagious."
"Well done, Sally. Anyone else?"
Little Johnny in the back stands up and says, "Last week my dad and me went for a walk and we saw a little old man painting a really big house with a small paintbrush."
"And?" asked the teacher.
"And my dad said, 'that will take the old contagious!'"
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