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RE: Aziz Ansari Doesn't Pick Up On "Non-Verbal Cues" and Gets Treated Like A Rapist
January 16, 2018 at 11:32 pm
(This post was last modified: January 16, 2018 at 11:40 pm by LadyForCamus.)
I haven’t caught up to recent comments yet, but I have to say, I read the full account earlier from Babe, and I’m even more solidified in my position than I was after reading only Tiz’s excerpts. I actually find the whole thing rather ridiculous TBH.
They made out. They undressed. They performed consensual oral sex on each other. For 30 minutes she endured kissing she did not like, and never spoke a word in protest. He made a move for intercourse and she asked him to slow down. He acknowledged her feelings. Yeah, he did ask her to continue engaging in oral sex with him, but, she had been giving (and receiving) exactly that moments before, so, is it so unreasonable for him to hope she’d be into more? In any case, she did it again, without a word of protest. Two blow jobs in one night, and we’re crucifying the guy for thinking he might still have a shot at sex? Finally, she works up nerve to say “I’m uncomfortable; I don’t think I want to have sex”, but, does she go home then? After she cried in the bathroom for 10 minutes? No. She goes to the couch with him. Talk about mixed messages.
How can we, as women, expect men to have a clear understanding of the difference between consent and non-consent, if we can’t be responsible enough to make that difference as clear as possible?
Was he tactless, and perhaps insensitive? By her account, I’d say yes. But, like any other autonomous, grown woman in her shoes should have done, she should have pulled up her big girl pants and communicated like an adult. Scooching in circles around the entire apartment and mumbling, for half an hour, during a make-out sesh. is not how a mature adult communicates. She even said herself, there was a possibility he simply wasn’t receiving her cues. What am I missing here?
(January 16, 2018 at 4:41 pm)J a c k Wrote: I don’t want sex, if it goes like this:
Person A: I want to have sex with you. Do you consent?
Person B: I consent. Where do I sign?
I want it to build up to the moment. Don’t want the sex? Say something. Refuse. Don’t give the dude oral sex and expect him to get the hint. Already did it and want to stop? Say it. Say you’re done. Make it clear. Women have a voice and we can use it. If we’re clear enough and they still push back, then there’s no doubt. It’s assault. If we go down this path, we’ll be needing consent forms. No, thanks.
I’m not blaming the girl, btw. I just fail to see how this dude is a predator.
You said it much better, and more concisely than I did. Thank you, dear. 😘
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Wiser words were never spoken.
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RE: Aziz Ansari Doesn't Pick Up On "Non-Verbal Cues" and Gets Treated Like A Rapist
January 16, 2018 at 11:47 pm
(This post was last modified: January 16, 2018 at 11:50 pm by Shell B.)
(January 16, 2018 at 11:15 pm)pool the matey Wrote: @everyone defending this dude, will you have the same attitude if this happened to your daughter?
This is going to piss people off, but I'd raise my daughter better than that.
ETA: Not saying she's a bad person and I'd raise her to be a better person, but I certainly would raise her to handle those situations better than this woman did. If she stuck around, it would be because she was indecisive about fucking the dude, not because she didn't know what to do. She'd know damn well what to do.
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RE: Aziz Ansari Doesn't Pick Up On "Non-Verbal Cues" and Gets Treated Like A Rapist
January 16, 2018 at 11:47 pm
(This post was last modified: January 16, 2018 at 11:48 pm by LadyForCamus.)
(January 16, 2018 at 3:50 pm)Neo-Scholastic Wrote: Why is everyone assuming, based on the woman's testimony, that the comedian was the creepy one? How do we know that she wasn't giving off ambiguous hints and/or misleading signals and he was trying to figure her out and be accommodating to her mixed signals. It's not like women never have have unusual desires.
I had thought this too, Neo. Perhaps he was interpreting her behavior as a bit of, ‘Cat and mouse’ play. Again...she was not explicit in her desires and expectations, so he is left to figure it out on his own. Trial and error, I suppose?
(January 16, 2018 at 11:47 pm)Shell B Wrote: (January 16, 2018 at 11:15 pm)pool the matey Wrote: @everyone defending this dude, will you have the same attitude if this happened to your daughter?
This is going to piss people off, but I'd raise my daughter better than that.
I like you. 
Nay_Sayer: “Nothing is impossible if you dream big enough, or in this case, nothing is impossible if you use a barrel of KY Jelly and a miniature horse.”
Wiser words were never spoken.
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RE: Aziz Ansari Doesn't Pick Up On "Non-Verbal Cues" and Gets Treated Like A Rapist
January 16, 2018 at 11:50 pm
Haha, join the short list, LFC. (You're cool too. Imma rep you.)
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RE: Aziz Ansari Doesn't Pick Up On "Non-Verbal Cues" and Gets Treated Like A Rapist
January 16, 2018 at 11:56 pm
I like you too, hoe.
"Of course, everyone will claim they respect someone who tries to speak the truth, but in reality, this is a rare quality. Most respect those who speak truths they agree with, and their respect for the speaking only extends as far as their realm of personal agreement. It is less common, almost to the point of becoming a saintly virtue, that someone truly respects and loves the truth seeker, even when their conclusions differ wildly."
-walsh
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RE: Aziz Ansari Doesn't Pick Up On "Non-Verbal Cues" and Gets Treated Like A Rapist
January 17, 2018 at 12:08 am
Woot! Group hug, ladies! ❤️
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RE: Aziz Ansari Doesn't Pick Up On "Non-Verbal Cues" and Gets Treated Like A Rapist
January 17, 2018 at 12:10 am
(This post was last modified: January 17, 2018 at 12:11 am by The Grand Nudger.)
One hopes we'd raise our sons better as well..for the most part I suspect that we do....but I'd have loved to have been a fly on the wall in his parents house the day this went public.
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RE: Aziz Ansari Doesn't Pick Up On "Non-Verbal Cues" and Gets Treated Like A Rapist
January 17, 2018 at 12:39 am
Raised my son better too.
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RE: Aziz Ansari Doesn't Pick Up On "Non-Verbal Cues" and Gets Treated Like A Rapist
January 17, 2018 at 1:11 am
Late to the party as usual, but 22 pages in and I'm not reading all that. My two cents though? He shouldn't have his career ruined. From what I read, there was at no point, any time where she was being held against her will. She was free to move about the apartment. So, why didn't she grab her belongings and just leave? Why all the moves to avoid him if she could clearly ambulate to the kitchen, grab her phone, get whatever else she owned and just fucking go?
I think she's wrong if she's attempting to make up some story that is suggestive at all, of rape.
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(November 14, 2018 at 8:57 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: Have a good day at work. If we ever meet in a professional setting, let me answer your question now. Yes, I DO want fries with that.
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RE: Aziz Ansari Doesn't Pick Up On "Non-Verbal Cues" and Gets Treated Like A Rapist
January 17, 2018 at 1:31 am
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