Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread

[A. Secular Human]

I bought a cassette tape player in '74 after the 8-track player croaked, and sold all those tapes for a buck a pop. 8-track players came out by the time I had a car to drive, but some of my friends had 4-track players.

I had a reel to reel in my truck......



No shit...

I knew a guy with a turntable in his old Plymouth.  I wouldn't let him play any of my vinyl, after he destroyed all of his with it.  He had the audacity to be pissed about it, too.

https://www.consumerreports.org/cro/news.../index.htm

[ignoramus]

My new hooligan prayer

[The Valkyrie]

I"m going to change my name to Sarah Connor.

Then, whenever someone wants to contact me they have to prove they're not a bot.

[ignoramus]

I Am NOT a BOT!

[... process "ignoramus.exe" has crashed and is rebooting... standby]

[Fireball]

It's even true!

[Rev. Rye]

Watched the episode of Parks and Recreations where Leslie convinces everyone to go on a camping trip to create new public projects for Pawnee. This inspired me to come up with an interesting idea.

In times of disaster, blood donations go way the Hell up. Suddenly, organizations that frequently suffer shortages get absurd surpluses they can't use. So, a lot of it goes to waste. But does it have to? So, to keep the blood from being totally wasted create the world's most metal tourist trap: The World's Only Blood Fountain. Unfortunately, blood does tend to coagulate, making it less than ideal for a regularly circulating fountain. However, one of Rob Zombie's former guitarists, Mike Riggs has a lot of experience in keeping blood liquid, because he keeps liquid blood in guitar made from acrylic glass. His solution: Everclear. So, presumably with a good mixture of blood and grain alcohol, it can be kept indefinitely. Maybe if it starts to run out, supplement it with some Kensington Gore.

[The Valkyrie]

https://i.imgur.com/E3Nnk4f.jpg

[onlinebiker]

My SO picked up some CDs at a garage sale - and was listening to Kenny G while cleaning the living room this morning. She said to me "You MUST have heard this tune before".

I replied "I really don't spend much time in elevators".


....

She wasn't amused.

[ignoramus]

[Little lunch]

I have a couple of bacon fountains everyday. :-)