Posts: 66329
Threads: 140
Joined: June 28, 2011
Reputation:
160
RE: What kind of a Jesus movie would you make?
July 3, 2023 at 10:07 am
(This post was last modified: July 3, 2023 at 10:12 am by The Grand Nudger.)
The movie would start with him calling a pheonician woman a bitch and end with him dying, having failed to bring israel to his cult. The backdrop would be overt racism, roman occupation, and insurgent terrorism. We'd see his rich widow backers, we'd see all the attempts he made on his male companions which were unsuccessful. He'd have a foot fetish, and a completely unexplained hatred for shrubs.
Tragi-comedy.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
Posts: 321
Threads: 21
Joined: August 14, 2023
Reputation:
0
RE: What kind of a Jesus movie would you make?
August 15, 2023 at 3:13 am
A bad one like all the rest.
Posts: 1535
Threads: 55
Joined: August 10, 2023
Reputation:
4
RE: What kind of a Jesus movie would you make?
August 15, 2023 at 3:28 am
Documentary talking to experts.
Posts: 1159
Threads: 2
Joined: October 10, 2013
Reputation:
10
RE: What kind of a Jesus movie would you make?
August 15, 2023 at 7:31 am
X-Rated
Titled
Jesus cums first, again
There would be no sequel
Posts: 5767
Threads: 49
Joined: September 25, 2018
Reputation:
20
RE: What kind of a Jesus movie would you make?
August 15, 2023 at 1:45 pm
I bet an Avengers type movie would work. Where jebus, Zeus, Neptune, Hanuman, and Ra all team up to defeat Palpatine, Voldemort, HAL 9000, and all the minions of imaginationland.
Plot twist, team j loses.
Posts: 19881
Threads: 324
Joined: July 31, 2016
Reputation:
34
RE: What kind of a Jesus movie would you make?
August 15, 2023 at 3:15 pm
(August 15, 2023 at 1:45 pm)no one Wrote: I bet an Avengers type movie would work. Where jebus, Zeus, Neptune, Hanuman, and Ra all team up to defeat Palpatine, Voldemort, HAL 9000, and all the minions of imaginationland.
Plot twist, team j loses.
Need Dead Pool, Dead Jewl, Dead Enuff, etc., for characters.
Posts: 1988
Threads: 93
Joined: October 23, 2022
Reputation:
8
RE: What kind of a Jesus movie would you make?
August 15, 2023 at 8:24 pm
J.C. The Extraterrestrial
Posts: 11739
Threads: 125
Joined: January 11, 2010
Reputation:
45
RE: What kind of a Jesus movie would you make?
August 15, 2023 at 9:31 pm
One that actually deals with the aftermath of this little text:
![[Image: -and-the-tombs-broke-open-the-bodies-of-...-42697.jpg]](https://storage.googleapis.com/bibleportal/verses/a/n/-and-the-tombs-broke-open-the-bodies-of-many-holy-people-who-had-died-were-niv-42697.jpg)
If nothing else, that's an untapped market. Unless anyone else has found a movie where Jesus has to deal with the living dead that popped up in Jerusalem after his resurrection.
Comparing the Universal Oneness of All Life to Yo Mama since 2010.
![[Image: harmlesskitchen.png]](https://i.postimg.cc/yxR97P23/harmlesskitchen.png)
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.
Posts: 1259
Threads: 0
Joined: October 2, 2018
Reputation:
11
RE: What kind of a Jesus movie would you make?
August 16, 2023 at 6:54 pm
(August 15, 2023 at 9:31 pm)Rev. Rye Wrote: One that actually deals with the aftermath of this little text:
If nothing else, that's an untapped market. Unless anyone else has found a movie where Jesus has to deal with the living dead that popped up in Jerusalem after his resurrection.
Then they need to be hunted down by Woody Harrelson and Emma Stone.
Disappointing theists since 1968!
|
