An eternal being was sitting around in a bunch of nothingness when he suddenly decided to create somethingness. He got pissed off at what he created and killed almost all of it. Then he started giving books to his creation.
Maybe, in order to make sure that wouldn't happen again, he took the form of his creation so they could sacrifice him to himself. Then he wrote a book about it.
And maybe, a few hundred years later, he wrote a second book that was supposed to clarify that book but instead just rambled on incoherently.

Tripe.

Shit.

-BS!-

"Died. Rose. Saved."

Jewish.

Christ.

Made up nonsense to make controlling the masses easier.

Or

Drivel

Or

Harmful to your health

Pure evil.

Bad joke.