Describe Christian Religion In The shortest way you can.

[Bob Kelso]

Prolapsed assholes

[Zazzy]

Yawn.

[T.J.]

Fear.

[Ryantology]

Christianity is an answer for every question, even if they have to make it up.

[DLJ]

The Lord and creator of the universe is an all powerful being but very deeply insecure. He requires constant sycophantic adoration from insignificant mortals like us. That's why he created Heaven and Hell. The system is rigged so that only a relative few will go to Heaven to be his boot-licking slaves for all eternity while the rest get dumped into the incinerator as rejects. Presumably, the production costs on souls is cheap to run that high of a reject rate and still keep the business going.

Anyway, it would seem life is a test and the criteria for passing the test is gullibility. Only those who believe unquestioningly what they are told will be admitted to the ranks of the Lord's slaves who will praise him for all eternity. I know it doesn't sound like much but it beats getting sodomized by demons for the same length of time.

Now getting into specifics, we are required to believe that the Lord created a perfect universe until we exercised the free will that he gave us to commit something called "sin". Now "sin" is broadly defined as acting in any way other than how the Lord would have us act. So we were given free will but not supposed to actually use it. So does this mean that since Heaven is a place without sin that the Lord takes away our free will when we get there and turns us into mindless robots for Jesus?

I'm going to have to pray on that.

Then again, the Lord also has a plan and many parts of the Bible even say that he has already chosen who will be saved and who will be lost. So apparently there is no free will; everything happens according to providence. But without free will, that would mean there is no sin, since sin is defined as acting in a way other than how the Lord wants us to act. If we all do what he intended anyway, then there is no sin and nothing to save us from.

I'm going to have to pray on that, too.

Anyway, so the Lord creates free will except he doesn't and we sin even though he planned everything we do. So sin enters the universe and corrupts everything, even creating a bunch of false fossils that suggest a gradual evolutionary process and a universe much older than 6000 years. How can he solve this problem? He has a ghost knock up a betrothed virgin so that he can become his own son. Once on earth as his own son, he sacrifices himself on a cross to appease his own wrath and convince himself to forgive us for committing the sins we can't actually commit because he planned everything anyway. Anyone who doesn't believe this will be tortured forever by the god who loves us so much.

Oh, and love is evil when the body parts are similar.

So all this sounds pretty dumb, right? That's where you're wrong. It's brilliant. It's the ultimate test for gullibility. After all, if you're screening for people so gullible and so weak-willed, unable to think for themselves that they'll kiss your holy ass for all eternity, you couldn't possibly create a better test.

Sorry, was this supposed to be brief?

That was great! So great that it is worthy of a equally great response...

... erm ... I'll get back to you on that.

Meanwhile, I'll go for the briefest response I can think of for the OP:

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[Dragonetti]

Delusional

Retarded

Simpletons

Idiots

Fairy tails

Evil

[bladevalant546]

draconian and contradictory.

[Polaris]

Love.

[Owlix]

Worthless

[Cyberman]

Poison.