Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: November 10, 2024, 8:26 pm

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Help Me Answer My Evangelical Aunt's Most Recent Email!
#51
RE: Help Me Answer My Evangelical Aunt's Most Recent Email!


Reply
#52
RE: Help Me Answer My Evangelical Aunt's Most Recent Email!
Jesus - it's Bill Bailey!

Actually, if that Tebow guy is really like that, he's in need of a good slap. Not out of spite or malice; he just invites it.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
Reply
#53
RE: Help Me Answer My Evangelical Aunt's Most Recent Email!
Have you ever known a jesus freak who didn't need a good slap....or a kick in the nuts?
Reply
#54
RE: Help Me Answer My Evangelical Aunt's Most Recent Email!
I don't want this to happen to anyone, but what if Tebow were to get horribly injured? How would someone like my aunt explain that? God's will?

42

Reply
#55
RE: Help Me Answer My Evangelical Aunt's Most Recent Email!
God had Denver's opponent to cover the spread.
Reply
#56
RE: Help Me Answer My Evangelical Aunt's Most Recent Email!
(December 29, 2011 at 9:40 pm)Minimalist Wrote: Have you ever known a jesus freak who didn't need a good slap....or a kick in the nuts?

You make a very compelling case, it has to be said.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
Reply
#57
RE: Help Me Answer My Evangelical Aunt's Most Recent Email!
(December 29, 2011 at 9:47 pm)aleialoura Wrote: I don't want this to happen to anyone, but what if Tebow were to get horribly injured? How would someone like my aunt explain that? God's will?

No, your aunt specifically said that all good things are of Christ...so she would not say god did it. Natural reasons happened for that, and god had nothing to do with it.

Dont ask her if Jesus let go of Tebow and allow him to fall...it may just make her head explode trying to make up an entirely new batch of lies to cover for the older batch.
Reply
#58
RE: Help Me Answer My Evangelical Aunt's Most Recent Email!
(December 29, 2011 at 9:47 pm)aleialoura Wrote: I don't want this to happen to anyone, but what if Tebow were to get horribly injured? How would someone like my aunt explain that? God's will?

Since god is completely and totally sovereign, of course everything that happens is god's will.

undefined
Reply
#59
RE: Help Me Answer My Evangelical Aunt's Most Recent Email!
(December 29, 2011 at 11:41 pm)Justtristo Wrote: [...] of course everything that happens is god's will.

Which of course makes God an incredibly sadistic asshole. Much worse than Genghis Khan, Hitler, Stalin, Mao, and Pol Pot combined. God knows they tried!
(December 29, 2011 at 7:19 pm)Cinjin Wrote: Matthew 6:5-6: "And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men....when thou prayest, enter into thy closet and when thou has shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret...."

LOL!

I.o.w. this is a Roman Catholic 'closet':

[Image: 0905stpeters.jpg]



Now, who can lend me a good beamer?

[Image: PopeBenedictXVIDeliversUrbiEtOrbiMessage...FdowlB.jpg]
Reply
#60
RE: Help Me Answer My Evangelical Aunt's Most Recent Email!
Look at all of that beauty around something so ugly
Reply



Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  God is not the answer Silver 47 6238 October 31, 2018 at 1:25 pm
Last Post: Drich
  I Got This Email And Figured It Was From Some Religitard Minimalist 6 2016 May 9, 2018 at 3:13 pm
Last Post: Minimalist
  Evangelical Trump Supporters: Hefner was sexually perverse Silver 8 946 September 28, 2017 at 10:38 pm
Last Post: chimp3
  10 Questions Biblical Literalists Cannot Honestly Answer Silver 431 139457 August 12, 2017 at 4:22 pm
Last Post: Astonished
  Our theists of all labels please answer.... Brian37 92 14796 April 25, 2017 at 11:33 am
Last Post: Brian37
  I've never gotten a good answer to.... Brian37 23 6335 October 23, 2016 at 2:30 pm
Last Post: chimp3
  The Consistent Asshole Answer to Every Problem Minimalist 3 1979 June 17, 2016 at 9:37 am
Last Post: tacebotedo
  Share Your Untestimony: Prayers that God didn't Answer Rhondazvous 81 22862 November 3, 2015 at 12:02 pm
Last Post: robvalue
  The Answer is - The Greeks Minimalist 16 3669 January 27, 2015 at 3:29 pm
Last Post: Jenny A
  Questions to answer polar bear 20 4060 October 26, 2014 at 8:55 pm
Last Post: Losty



Users browsing this thread: 3 Guest(s)