Low self esteem, feelings of worthlessness, and lack of purpose

[SteelCurtain]

Self talk can be extremely valuable, C_L. You have to know that this thing you tell yourself is utter bullshit. You're full of worth. To your husband, to your family, to your pets, to yourself. Wear a rubber band and snap it on your wrist whenever you start telling yourself this crap. Develop a list of 5 things that give your life meaning. Cultivate that list. Don't bullshit yourself---pick the 5 things that really do make you feel better about yourself. Every time you start feeling or telling yourself that you're worthless or talentless, snap that rubber band and list those things. Sounds silly, but it works if you do it. No one is going to be harder on yourself than you. No one. Don't let that bitch get the best of you!

Maybe you just haven't found your thing yet? You're about to set out on a new journey in a new place. One of the most impactful and fulfilling things I've done in my life is volunteering with an Animal Rescue. I went to adoption events, fostered dogs, went and walked dogs to give them a break from their kennels, took sick pups to the vet, went and visited prospective adoptive families, matched dogs with their forever families. I know a woman who has two Golden Retrievers who got involved with a program that provides pets for special needs students for pet therapy. She takes her dogs to a school for special needs kids and helps them in various ways. Maybe there will be some charity opportunities with your new church that will help you connect with your new community. I think if you do enough things, you'll find your passion.

Maybe a therapist? You like to get in the nitty gritty with people, I know that.

[Thumpalumpacus]

I must admit I don't have a lot of hobbies because I feel like I'm juts not good or naturally gifted at anything. I'm one of those people where if I'm not good at something, I don't enjoy doing it. I know for a lot of people it's about doing something over and over again so that you can eventually get good at it.

You're going to have to confront this attitude no matter what it is you choose to do. Getting good at anything is a matter of practice -- if you're taking a cab to Carnegie Hall, it's because you'll be sitting in the audience. If you want to get there on your own, it's because you will have spent thousands of hours working on your craft.

The funny thing about life is that most of us fail miserably when we first attempt something. My first ten songs, I've loooong forgotten, because they quite literally were not worth remembering. But now, after hundreds of completed songs and thousands of little fragments, I've got a better idea of what makes something tick -- at least for me -- and that's because I practiced at the craft.

Trust me, that first time you get it right, whatever it is for you, you'll discover a great high ... and spend a hell of a lot of time chasing it. Shut your inner critic up -- that little voice that says you'll never get this right, we all had that little bastard. Shut him up. catch him while he's asleep and strangle him in bed ... then drag him out to the back yard and shoot him in the head to be sure. That little voice kills so much creativity.

You have to be willing to make mistakes, and you have to be willing to fall flat, and you have to be willing to put in the hours. But it is worthwhile doing so.

[energizer bunny]

You have the courage to openly expose yourself while inspiring others to do the same. You stand up for what you believe in even if it means going against the majority. You are kind and helpful. These are traits i find admirable in you. You are definitely not worthless. I'm sure you inspire many others far more than you think. I'm not just saying that to cheer you up. I told you there were traits i find admirable in you over a year ago in a private message. I still kept it.

[Silver]

Low self esteem, feelings of worthlessness, and lack of purpose

Only being a theist ever made me experience that.

[Thumpalumpacus]

Low self esteem, feelings of worthlessness, and lack of purpose

Only being a theist ever made me experience that.

I have felt those feelings as a nonbeliever. I think this is an issue that transcends faith or its absence.

[Brian37]

You have the courage to openly expose yourself while inspiring others to do the same. You stand up for what you believe in even if it means going against the majority. You are kind and helpful. These are traits i find admirable in you. You are definitely not worthless. I'm sure you inspire many others far more than you think. I'm not just saying that to cheer you up. I told you there were traits i find admirable in you over a year ago in a private message. I still kept it.

I will not agree with where she thinks human favoritism comes from meaning a divine or deity source. There are too many humans with a variety of claims for me to agree with that.

But, in my history here of interaction with her. I have said and stand by what I consistently notice about her. She has empathy, and that I have always noticed even if I don't agree with where that comes from. 

Stalin and Castro had "courage" too, but CL has something they never had, EMPATHY. 

If she had a medical degree and I had to place my life and surgery in her hands, as long as she left her personal beliefs outside the operating room I WOULD trust her with my life. But conversely if Frank Burns of MASH offered me an operation I would not be so sure he could not let his personal bias creep in.

Point being CL would not let any of us reading this bleed in the street if she came across us in need. And I am sure we would do the same for her.

But "courage" does not constitute fact. If it did all of us should believe in the Egyptian polytheist gods because they had conviction for what they believe. 

Her empathy is what I like, not everything she claims. Just like she can see that in many of us here. 

I support her, not because of her personal beliefs. I support her because she has the displayed the empathy I know most humans can be capable of. Those who display that don't sweat the differences or blasphemy. I've been blunt with her like I am every theist. But I have never thought she'd let me die if she ran across me after getting hit by a car. And despite our disagreements I would want to do the same for her if the situation were reversed. 

Just like I am an atheist and my late mother was a Catholic. CL is good people, even if I don't think she is correct on every claim she makes.

[ErGingerbreadMandude]

If you like traveling that is therapy too. Might seem boring to many, I love going to hotels. I hate driving and flying, but once I get there, I love the fresh smell and the different looks and the cute refrigerator and the tiny coffee maker and sometimes the huge shower too. But just seeing new things is fun too. 

I absolutely love traveling! To be honest I actually enjoy the journey more than the destination. It's just surreal anywhere I choose to go the scenery just melts my heart. You know the kind of heart skipping a beat, feeling funny in the tummy you're supposed to get when you're with someone you like? I feel those things when I go to a new place and I see a scenery that lifts my soul up from my body and freezes it and puts it back. I go to heaven there for a second!

[Brian37]

If you like traveling that is therapy too. Might seem boring to many, I love going to hotels. I hate driving and flying, but once I get there, I love the fresh smell and the different looks and the cute refrigerator and the tiny coffee maker and sometimes the huge shower too. But just seeing new things is fun too. 

I absolutely love traveling! To be honest I actually enjoy the journey more than the destination. It's just surreal anywhere I choose to go the scenery just melts my heart. You know the kind of heart skipping a beat, feeling funny in the tummy you're supposed to get when you're with someone you like? I feel those things when I go to a new place and I see a scenery that lifts my soul up from my body and freezes it and puts it back. I go to heaven there for a second!

Not me. I would have agreed in my teens and early 20s.  But in my old age there is truth to the adage "I need a vacation after my vacation." The destination does not wear me out, getting there does. 

Japan for me was a perfect example. I cant sleep on a plane. My wife and I at the time spent 7 hours driving from Central VA to Baltimore MD. We stayed at a hotel and caught the flight the next morning. The layover and transfer flight was in Chicago. It was initially a 1 hour layover, but got delayed because of a hurricane in the Pacific Ocean. So that alone we are talking about having to arrive 2 hours before the flight plus driving up there plus the delay, I was tired by the time we got to Chicago. Another 19 hours and I cant sleep on a plane. But, once we got to Tokyo it was still another 4 hours south by bullet train before we got to her house. I slept a good 14 hours if not more when we got there. I had fun while I was there  but the same lag I had after  we got back. I crashed when we got home too.

I like seeing new places I just wish the transporter were real to avoid travel lag.

[The Industrial Atheist]

My dad used to grab me around the throat up against the living room door when I was like 12. I thought that was just something dads did when they were angry. Was shocked when I learned that was abusive.

What were his reasons? I didn't lay the table fast enough for dinner.

My dad is old school military. I was like 5 or something, I don't remember but I do remember I could barely walk. Anyhow, I was walking around the house without clothes with food stuffed in my mouth and some of it here and there in my face. Dad comes home from work sees me and it pisses him to no end. I don't remember what he did but I'm pretty sure whatever he did it made me fall back hard and had mom come running to my rescue only to have herself fall victim to dad's angry words. Another time he threw a plate at me that came spinning so fast and hit the side of my arm and I was bleeding and my dress got that red stain I think I was like 10 or something. Anyways he took me in that condition to church (special church day Jesus coming from the dead mass at night) and I just couldn't stop crying, cried all the way to church and still cried in the church during mass everyone was looking at me. I wouldn't say it was all that bad, I mean I did turn out pretty good and dad definitely loves me and I love him as well with all my heart. I remember like a year or two I brought up some of his antics in a conversation with him in a joking manner but his face got so sad I couldn't bear to look at it and he was so guilty so I decided I wouldn't bring any of it up ever. Although these days it's really hard for me to cry, like even when I'm really sad I guess I just grew so used to it my resistance to it grew over time. There's lots of stories like it but dad did it for me and dad is dad and I love dad cos dad is awesome and I'm so grateful to have him in my life.

Wow pool, I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

---

If I could Double Kudo Thump's post I would. The first tracks I made were terrible. I'm not saying I'm great but I'm waay better than when I started.

[Jello]

It's so sad to hear so many of all you awesome people go through these things. I know i've not got much to offer bar some minor encouragement, but i really wish you guys could see how awesome and interesting people you all are