The 10 Most Ridiculous Beliefs in the Christian Delusion

[robvalue]

I wonder how many you could write down before you ran out of steam?

Or paper?

[Minimalist]

[Drich]

10. If you are gullible enough to believe in Christianity, you won't have to spend your afterlife in the torments of hell.

Not a biblical belief. You will be 'consumed' by Hell. Hell is the second death.

9. Hell.

meh

8. There is a real evil spirit named Satan or Lucifer and he wants your soul!

For what purpose?
All satan wants is to oppose God

7. Prophets foretold the coming of the Messiah and King Jesus!

Hence the term 'prophet.'

6. God impregnated a young virgin. And that was after his "angel" Gabriel told her in a vision.

What are you saying it would be better for her not to know?

5. God is one Being but three Persons. It's just too "mysterious" for stupid people to understand... like us Christians.

It's REALLY Simple cupcake. God is a title and not a name. As in God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. Three entities Father, Son ,Holy Spirit. One shared title of God.

4. God rose himself from the dead...and then floated into the sky 40 days later, before anyone outside of his devoted inner circle had a chance to see him.

Again not a biblical precept. Christ appeared to huge crowds/hundreds of people.

3. God is the world's most successful author; he wrote a total of sixty-six books and his career lasted approximately 1,400 B.C.-100 A.D. (according to Christians)! Incredible longevity!

Don't see a problem here.

2. God created a Universe, the observable portion being at least 539,400,000,000,000,000,000,000 miles across, 13.8 billion years ago, so that through your 9-10 decades on Earth (if you're very lucky), you could be born into sin but acquire the free gift of salvation, per his mercy, and be granted an eternity of life side by side with him in heaven---by believing in a story he wrote down by manipulating the hands of Greek-speaking Jews 2,000 years ago.

What the problem is?

And the winner is....

1. God requires human sacrifice to repay evil and Jesus' virgin blood was just the ingredient that holy justice demanded.

As so many of you have said, if Christ rose from the grave where is the sacrifice?

[Chad32]

Has anyone mentioned the end times conspiracy yet? we're either in the end times, or it's very close. It's been very close ever since Jesus told a crowd of people it would happen in their lifetimes. Any day now. It will definitely happen. Or it's happening right now. Have you found Jesus yet?

[Minimalist]

2 billion years from now when the sun expands and burns earth to a cinder there will probably be some shithead like Drippy going "See? See? I told you so!!!!"

[Chad32]

Lol, yeah. We know the world is going to end eventually, because the sun isn't eternal, and when it looks like the sun is about to die there will be people justifiably talking about end times. Assuming we're still here at that time.

[Mudhammam]

I'm surprised the one about the dirt man and the rib woman being tricked by a talking snake into eating magic fruit didn't make the list.

Then again, that one is only believed by people stupid enough to be literalists.

I was going for beliefs that are largely considered essential to Christianity and are clearly stated in the New Testament. Of course, you could argue (and I do) that Adam, Eve, and Original Sin is essential to the story of Jesus, but then again, if you include the Old Testament, this list easily becomes "The Top 50..." and ain't nobody got time for that.

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You forgot to mention stuff from Revelation.

Damn how could I forget The Second Coming?!

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4) Jesus knew what it meant to be human without ever once having had a great piece of ass. I'm definitely calling bullshit on this.

Ha! That made me laugh out loud.

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Exactly. This thread should just be the groundwork for composing a top 100.

I was originally going to ask for suggestions. I'd say this would be an easy feat if someone wanted to put it together.

[KevinM1]

I still want to know if Drich realizes that his interpretation of the Trinity means he's a pagan.

[abaris]

Assuming we're still here at that time.

I don't even think that to be a remote possibility. Mother earth will have shrugged us off long before that in order to survive. And given our destructive nature, some idiot will push the red button, even before nature runs it's course.

[Thumpalumpacus]

1. God requires human sacrifice to repay evil and Jesus' virgin blood was just the ingredient that holy justice demanded.

As so many of you have said, if Christ rose from the grave where is the sacrifice?

That is exactly why belief in that doctrine is silly. Don't look now, but you're learning.

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God is a title and not a name. As in God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. Three entities Father, Son ,Holy Spirit. One shared title of God.

Wait, Christianity is polytheistic?